Lost

I walk through streets,
I don't know what am I doing,
I lost myself,
my brain is in a mess,
I can't remember what I did.

People look at me,
their eyes are filled with anger,
I don't know why they are doing this,
I just don't know.

I felt like I will fall anytime,
my body shakes and shakes,
everyone turned their angry eyes to me,
I am not sure what I did,
but I  knew right away,
I did  something bad.

Dogs bark at me,
kids cry as they see me,
I felt bad,
what I did I do?

Everything sounds like a dream,
I don't know when will I awake,
I lost myself,
not knowing who am I,
what have I done.

I fell into the mud,
no one give me a hand,
I sighed,
I want to scream,
or even cry,
but I can't control myself anymore,
my spirits already went away,
just leave this body.

My eyes were closed,
losing myself,
I sighed,
I just want to sleep,
whenever I am going to awake or not,
I just turn back,
to the beauty of  dreams.

Author's Note

Thanks if you write a review, thx!

Reviews

[Dalebear]

Good write

[Kimberly]

The last line especially is very nice. This is a very emotional poem.

[Rain Kissed Secret]

Pretty good. Keep trying to fill in the blanks and fix grammatical mistakes; Words that aren't supposed to be there, or words that are supposed to be but aren't. Thanks. Keep it up

[Sara Mercury]

"Wake up and dream." (That's a quote by someone, although I'm not sure who) Sometimes reality deals us a raw set of cards, but it is up to us to learn how to play them to our advantage. Without pain, we would not know joy. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. No set of circumstances, despite how bad they seem, should be enough to kill our spirit. We should all strive to continue the struggle and never give up or give in.

Guilt also seems to play a part in this writing. Something she did that she doesn't remember doing. Perhaps the guilt is self-imposed? Regardless of whether the guilt has been placed or is self-imposed, guilt itself has the power to destroy us. Just like hate, it will pick your mind away, bit by bit, until there is nothing left but an empty shell.

Turning away from a bleak reality to the dream world is intially a good thing, as it serves to shelter the mind from pain, until the mind is strong enough to handle it. It's only when a person remains in the dream planes that it becomes a bad thing. Facing reality is much better than wondering what's really going on around you all the time! At least when you're facing reality and going through a world of sh*t during that time, you are still able to ask yourself, "Am I going mad?" And if you can still ask that question, then you have not gone round the bend yet!

Open your eyes in a bid to find yourself again. "Wake up and dream."

[Aven]

It is a very blunt, yet mesmerizing and desolate piece. It is abit rough a round the edges, but overall I enjoyed it. Good job!

[Miss Coral]

There are some grammar mistakes, but not a ton. Which is a good thing if English is not your first language. I would try using some more description.. this is very simply put, which is not always a bad thing, but it doesn't work super well in this.

Overall, this is a really good piece.. I do think with some description it could be even better. :)


Coral

[the_stoic]

just one of those days when even the faithful dogs don't spare us !! a few spell checks will do (some small errors) . nice write

[literarygirl37]

I understand that English is not your first language, correct? That said, there are many grammatical mistakes. I think if you read through it a few times and edited, it would be much better. I love the emotion, I love your writing. Beautiful poem.

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Nice poem.
Line 7 fill- FILLED
Line 11 SHAKES and SHAKES
LIne 12 turns- TURN
LIne 15 do-DID
Line 17 saw- SEE
Line 19 WHat did i do?
laST LINE BEAUTIFUL/ THE BEAUTY OF DREAMS.

[DrSprinkz73]

This is very simply done and I feel like if I just so happened to accidently read your diary or random writing in your school notebook ...mayhaps using metaphorical terms? You are being very blunt in the just having a random conversation way. Naughty Naughty thing to do with poetry unless it specifically calls for it. The grammatical errors are distracting to practiced writers so keep that in mind. Review! Review! Review!