Sad love

Hope that do sound sad

  

        I looked at the window of your home, every window was closed and dark, except yours. I saw you looking out the window, my heart started to broke in pieces. Ten years before , we are still a couple of lovers, but now another man came in. I can't blame you or that man, he's my friend. I am the wrong one, I don't let him to know you are mine, but he loves you too.
       I knew I let you down, but it seems that you love him too, you have two little kids, but those kids hate me. I can't blame them either, or I can do is blame myself, I shouldn't come back, I shouldn't come back from another side of the country. All I brought you is tears and sadness, I hate myself. I try to look I don't mind about you, but I can't, I do love you.
       Your kids born with sad cause of me, they will soon know I love you, but I don't want them to worry about you. I am not sure if you ever thought about that, I am your husband and your kids is ours. I thought of that, but I can't think of that now, your kids will notice something and so as your husband.
        I can't help myself to pretend to hate you, it's good to you. I can't let my friend down, if I say no to your marriage, he will surly hate me, but what about you? What do I do for you? It's seems to be nothing at all. All I can do is to save all your sadness to me. My heart broke in more pieces as I saw you, but I can't control myself to love, no one can.
         Your shadow stays at my heart, I want to stay with you, but who can I blame? No one, except me.......

Author's Note

Hope it sounds sad, please write a review. Tell me what to make it sounds better

Reviews

[Dalebear]

This is a good story line......I felt a bit sad

Dalebear

[Tiffany]

I think it is a good story, but it is quite sad to me.(It is very good)

[Angelauthor1204]

it's a good story, but idk...you have to work on your grammar and then your story, to me, is quite sad. But if you work hard enough, try making it one of those good tear-jerkers. I guarantee I'll love it! Overall, your story is short and simple yet, very good-written but that's just my opinion.

[YYPSNicoletse]

It feel sad, but i like it.

[theonlyone]

Soooo pretty - This is nice, and it made me feel sad, but in a good way. :)

[Kimberly]

A nice, concise story. The grammar does need to be fixed if you want to submit this. Don't use the ... at the end. It might just be me but I understand that his mind trails off. Poignant.

[Red]

I like how you added only what was needed to the story. You didn't need to give to much information and you didn't, which I liked. There was a few spelling mistakes, but not to many, so the flow of the story wasn't to broken up. a sad, but great story!

[Ashley.M.E]

Yeah it is sad... Though Idk, something about it seems strange. Oh, I know you wrote it more on her point of view, like. I am not sure how to explain it just seemed like your stating more on what you believe her feelings are than your own. You also seem to you I to much, but that one is just my opinion, you cannot satisfy everyone with every piece of writing, so don't worry about reviews that much.

[ForTheWorld]

i love the last line...no one but me....yeah i love it

[Undying Glory]

sure does sound sad to begin with, so that's great. if you do want a few pointers, i guess you can take these from me. if you want to that is...
firstly, grammar can be such a pain, i know, but keep your tenses constant. it's not right to say "ten years ago" and then say "are" instead of "were". they are in completely different tenses, the first one is present tense and the second one is past tense. it's also "broke into pieces", not "broke in pieces".
secondly, i think you can also work on the spelling. it's "surely", not "surly". they're two very different words.
anyway, this is still good work. nice