Confession Woes-Therapy

a day in the life of Dr Mike Sawyer

First up was bubbly Betsy Blue.
Her Appointment was always at two.
She'd blabber about food, her only muse
and the different spices she would use.
Certainly this one he did not choose,
Referred by a colleague the business he could not afford to lose,
Guess it was an offer he could not refuse.
He endured the long session,
After this he would definitely need some booze.

Next came Linda the depressed young widow.
Seldom smiled, always surrounded by a dark shadow.
She came in at three and sat in the chair.
Silent as a mouse, to speak she wouldn't dare.
For the whole dreary hour she would just sit and stare.
Surprisingly he didn't mind, he just left her there.

Four o'clock was the worst, it was rather scary.
That's when he had the appointment with Carey.
A disturbed teenage girl, very different from her brother Larry.
She always had many a tale to tell
Mostly about the drugs she used to sell
and how her father always used to yell
Right before she pushed him down that well
or rather as she told everyone, he simply fell.
He was so relieved when his assistant rang that bell.

Five signalled day end.
His assistant would rush home, her garden to tend.
He still had two more sessions, the most confidential of all.
He started meeting with her a while ago, sometime last fall.
The Mayor's wife, a very disturbed soul.
She was always in a state of distress,
for each week her husband had a new mistress.
There was no solid proof, for such a grave sin there was no witness.

After she was gone and safely out of the way,
He had one last one, though he didn't pay.
Due to his position he couldn't come during the day.
In the darkness, he found his way.
Arrived at six thirty, without a minute delay.
Married with children, he was secretly gay.
Such news couldn't get out; he had been elected Mayor last May.

After this last one he would sink in his chair, it was crimson red.
What he really needed at this moment was his comfy bed.
But he wouldn't go home, not just yet.
He took out a photo from his drawer, it was of the day he wed.
A deep sadness filled the room, for his one true love was dead.
 

Reviews

[KAin]

Very nicely done! I'm always a fan of stories in poetry... If i could make a suggestion, when you rhyme, its often best to have your couplets have the same number of beats, the same amount of syllables, to maintain a certain rhythm. You don't necessarily have to keep the amount the same for the ENTIRE poem, for instance lines aa could have 7, while lines bb could have 9 and so on. This is poetry and there's no need to impose a strict order! But i found your lines that had the same amount of syllables generated their own rhythm, making it flow more easily. That said, i think you did an amazing job telling the story, and i know that counting syllables would just diminish some of the fun you must have had writing it. Cycy, this is great work! Hope you keep writing, friend.

[cycy]

thank you so much Landred and yes i understand exactly what you mean about the rhythm, when i read it after i was done i figured it was a bit off on some parts but then i felt if i made some changes it would take away some of the interesting detail from the poem and i wanted it to tell the story as well however i did try to make it balance out a bit. thank you so much your review means a lot to me and it is very constructive indeed :) thank you again

[KAin]

Yeah, I know, sometimes doing it for rhythm alone detracts from what you intended for the poem. In which case, keeping as it is was the right decision! In most situations, I feel the message is more important than structure, anyway. You're welcome, and again, well done!

[Frieda P]

Good read, a bit long, but I really enjoyed the story within your poem. Ha, like the secret twist you spun here, sad ending.

[cycy]

thanks Frieda, yeah i think its definitely my longest one yet, i don't usually like them too long but when i started the characters just kept popping in my mind and i couldn't stop :)

[Frieda P]

Oh I know, happens to me too, all the time. My pleasure cycy ;-)

[Chandradhish Ghosh]

Nice one cycy...I liked the overall story behind the poem. I somehow expected the twist. I love the way you have weaved the characters although I would have liked a little more description about each of them. The only thing that I think could have made this even better was probably blank verse. But overall I like this one.

[cycy]

thank so much Chandradhish I am writing a novel based on this poem hey, so there is more description of each of the characters and the story is a lot more defined too plus there is an even bigger twist in the novel ;)

[Chandradhish Ghosh]

That is good to hear...I am eagerly looking forward to it. :)

[Sami Khalil]

A good rhyming story -type poem...Keep up the good work...:).................

[cycy]

thanks Sami, much appreciated :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)......................

[stars are far]

That was well done :))
good write..keep it up

[cycy]

thank you dear :)

[stars are far]

welcome :)