I Wanted To Compose

Metapoetry. I dig it.

I thought of an idea

For an endearing, narrative poem

About the uncomplicated beauty

Of the human condition

Just the other day

Virtuous words and sweet, anecdotal images

Concerning mantras for living a Taoist life,

For painting your entire house white,

And your cat entirely blue.

Erupting from reason that comes from a small,

Pleasant, but nearly subconscious

Memory

About a humongous slice of apple

Pie that I inhaled, (melting ice cream replete), 

As a not-quite-weight-conscious six-year (sixteen?) old,

Plate nearly bigger than my head,

At some broken down pecan grove shack.

All I can remember are the apples �"

Titles or locations mean not a thing.

I wanted to compose

Something reaching for enlightenment in poemdom

A few eloquent, memorable words,

To remind myself…

Of how a child I know sounded

As though she had discovered walking

For the first time,

As she bounced along the patiently

Trotting mare,

Beside me

But hell if I could conjure

Magic enough to resound

Blooming sensations within my chest.

Feelings do not care about words.

Even more I wish to elocute the subtle,

Simple, spiritual breathing of winds through

Weeping willows,

Rising tide of crimson sky, shadowed cloud

Questioning dreams that perhaps my soul knows

But my truant mind does not, cannot

Put into language that has never been tapped

From a mind that has never

Felt the jaws of a trap.

Lifted into ideas

Where truth is no more than air

My pen stops here.

Reviews

[melisag]

Feelings do not care about words.

AH! Straight to my soul!

Well done, Ash!

[An Ordinary Woman]

ohhhhh so many beautiful gems tucked inside! Gorgeous words!

Truant mind, simple, spiritual breathing of winds through
weeping willows,...so lovely!

[raining]

"Feelings do not care about words". very good.
Painting yr house white (you mean the interior?) yes sure you do. I like that.

Questioning dreams (take out the "perhaps?) I like that Questioning dreams....my soul knows".

the first stanza is good as well.
...and yr cat entirely blue....

What if you took "feelings do not care about words and put that as the first line? just a suggestion.

i didnt want to just say"good poem good poem"

It is a good poem by the way....lol It is good to have others who write, to share their poetry.

so thanks for that... you have alot of good "metaphoric" images and i like that. bye raining

[...]

. ah! ... there are a million tenets of life here ... you are the princess of poemdom ... the earnestness ... the magic ... the milestones ... the moments ... they're all here ... to witness how you shine ... and you do ... ravishing poetry ...