The Waiting Game

Just an idea I had for a restaurant. Anyone interested in investing?

“I still think we should have gone to Robbie’s,” Bunter claimed as he looked around the restaurant impatiently. “What’s so special about this place anyway? They take forever.”

“I told you, Bunt, Robbie’s isn’t even a real restaurant. It’s just a place you tell people who you don’t like to go to, because when you get there the ‘waiter’ beats the s**t out of you and robs you. This place is great though, you’ll see. The show is worth the wait,” Kiefer said. “Ooh, look, see, here it comes.”

And come it did. Oh boy, did it ever! You should have seen this thing come! A train of five waiters came strutting around the kitchen corner with flamboyant grace. On the tips of their fingers rested overlarge trays, upon which balanced a grand assortment of fancy plates, bowls, forks, knives, cups, glasses for both wine and champagne, all of which were filled with lavish foodstuffs and refreshments. Following the train of waiters was a marching band playing an upbeat tune, to which the waiters did their strut. As it turned out, all of the other customers in the restaurant were, in fact, actors and actresses. On some subtle cue, they all got out of their seat and began clapping to the beat of the band, taking small steps towards Kiefer and Bunter’s table. Tiny firecrackers began darting from the bedazzled top hats of the waiters. In from the side doors, lions came bounding in, restrained by lion tamers. Sparks and flames and disco balls from the ceiling! Dancers in cages, and unicycle riding jugglers, juggling unicycles!

All this showmanship for the two gentlemen seated at the table in the center of the restaurant. Despite Bunter’s initial judgment, he could not help but change his mind about this restaurant. And to think, all this garishness was just the bringing of the food to the table! He could hardly wait to taste the food that warranted such a show. Thankfully, he mused, he would not have to wait long, as the train of waiters came to within five feet of the table.

Four feet.

Three feet.

Two feet.

Crash! Bunter looked on in horror as the leading waiter tripped over his front foot and the huge tray of food and dishes came crashing to the ground. This was followed by the second waiter tripping over the first, and the third over the second, and once more, and twice more until all the waiters were on the ground, surrounded by mangled fancy food and shards of glass. A long moment of silence ensued as Bunter tried to process this tragedy.

Across the table, Kiefer gave the waiters a soft and elegant round of applause while the whole restaurant of actors, dancers, jugglers, musicians, lion tamers and lions vacated in silence. The waiters left last, as they had to get themselves off the ground while avoiding mortal wounds from sharp glass. They finally exited with the slam of a door and Bunter was left to his confusion. He looked at Kiefer, who was looking back at him with anticipation for his reaction. “Well?” he inquired.

It was then that an impressively average looking woman walked over to the table from the kitchen. She was dressed in blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Upon reaching the table, she reached into her jean pocket and pulled out two fortune cookies and a napkin with messy scribbling on it. In vague lettering, the napkin read, “Thank you for choosing Auntie Climactic’s Letdown of a Restaurant.” She walked outside and lit a cigarette.

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

That was interesting, to be sure. At first blush, the description feels very forced and unfinished, but I wouldn't expect anyone to find their narrative voice in the first piece! I like the punny name for the restaurant very much.