Chapter 1

Justin Malone, after the shocking news that his ex-girlfriend had killed herself, he returns to his hometown to make the funeral. But then Kate asks something surprising of him from her grave.

    The room filled with tons of people I’d never met before. They all sat over by Kate’s family so they must have been related to her somehow. I adjusted the black tie around my neck, loosening it up a little more so I could breath.
    All dressed in black, a few of our high school and college buddies flooded in the room. Most of them were sort of there because I was, but I remembered a few of Kate’s close girlfriends from our senior year in high school. They kept in touch for a while throughout college so they must have felt obligated to come.
    My eyes shifted over towards Kate’s parents. Her mother dug her face in a tissue and blew her nose gently. When she pulled away the white Kleenex, splotches of red covered her whole nose. She looked nearly sick, her eyes red and puffy just like her nose.
    Kate’s dad sat straight up in his seat, staring at his cell phone to probably take care of some business. My first thought was How could he be worrying about work at a time like this? But then I remembered that peopled grieved in their own way. Maybe Mr. Larson couldn’t handle the situation. I know I’d been shocked when news traveled.
    Kate’s mom called me up the night it happened. There were tons of muffled voices in the background and I could hear Mrs. Larson’s sobs through the line. She huffed in large breaths and then shakily let them out again.
    I waited, realizing that the breathing wasn’t meant to be threatening but they were sad. Finally, words came out and I recognized the voice as Mrs. Larson immediately.
    “Kate’s dead,” was all she managed to squeeze out.
    It was all it took to send my world spinning round and round. It had been a year since I last spoke with her and a few months since I last thought about her. I had moved on, found someone new, and took my life in another direction.
    But those two words, Kate’s dead, nearly made me die along with her. I broke down a cried for a while by myself but pushed as many memories as I could away. I couldn’t start thinking about the six years I had spent with Kate. It would only make it worse. And I was still trying to convince myself that Hannah, my new girlfriend, and I would make it another week.
    I sat in the large church now, just watching. I shed my last tear just a few days ago and I felt like there was nothing left. My heart felt empty and the place where Kate used to be, and probably always would be, was now just a big, gaping hole.
    David, my best friend in high school and Kate’s cousin, reached over and patted my hand. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t look remotely sad. I’m sure I just looked emotionless. Maybe like I didn’t care either way. But in the end, a lot of people looked like that. The women grieved the most.
    Some of the men held sad looks but none of them cried. I began to wonder if I was the only man who cried. That made me feel weak, like it made me less of a man for crying over someone I had lost touch with over the last year.
    “I cried like a baby,” David admitted. And just like that, he shed another tear. “I guess I still can’t get over the fact that my baby cousin, the girl you and I had grown up with our whole lives is gone. Just like that.”
    “Yeah,” I mumbled but couldn’t bring myself to utter another word. I choked a little on that one little word and felt it was best to just mourn silently with everyone else. David did the same.
    Hannah reached over now and took hold of my hand. As much as I needed her comfort and love, it didn’t feel right holding her hand at Kate’s funeral. Kate, my ex-girlfriend, the girl I was going to marry before things went wrong. I pulled my hand away from Hannah and just gave her a weak smile instead.
    The room filled fast and then the pastor stood up by the pew and went through a few funeral traditions. Then people got up and spoke about Kate’s life. I felt like I owed it to Kate’s family to say something nice about her but I couldn’t find anything to say at all. When I thought about just coming up with stuff to say, my legs refused to move. So I missed out.
    Mr. and Mrs. Larson didn’t seem to mind. They didn’t say anything about her either. Mainly, just a few uncles and aunts went up and said something. David said a few words, too. Then the pastor got up and nodded to someone in the back.
    Every person in the church turned their backs to the pastor and looked at a tall, skinny man dressed in a fancy black suit. He carried a brief case in his hands almost as well as he carried himself.
    His hair was beginning to gray around the roots but he didn’t seem to care because no one else really noticed it either. How could they when the only thing really noticeable on the extremely tall man was the extremely expensive suit. It was far more worthy than a funeral. So I guess it came as a shock to everyone that a man of such high stature was here at Kate’s funeral.
    He got up onto the stage and pulled a few papers out of his briefcase. The church stayed silent with the occasional cough or sniffle. Other than that, it was just Mrs. Larson, still sobbing. Her face was now buried in her husband’s arm. He just looked forward, no expression lingering in his eyes.
    “Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Aaron Bartley. I legally represent the Larsons’ and I’m here because, upon investigating, the police stumbled across a few things Kate would like to be read.”
    Mr. Bartley gathered some papers in his hands but then set them down again after reading over a little bit of it. Clearing his throat, he began to read.
    “I’ve been thinking about death lately. So I decided to write this memoir so my family and friends can better understand why this happened and maybe get a little closure. I’ll only release this to the world on two conditions. One: It be read to everyone at my funeral…if there is one. And two: there is only one person who will be able to interpret what this all really means and understand my message. So it’s my very last wish that these papers be released to and read out loud to everyone by Justin Malone.”
    Mumbles erupted through the room, eyes searching around for me sitting in the middle row of the benches. I met every eye that met mine. But the only gaze that seemed to bother me was from Kate’s father. His eyes fidgeted a little but they never left me. He was almost challenging me to see if I had the guts to stand up and read Kate’s last thoughts to everyone in the room.
    It was a challenge I knew I had to take.

Author's Note

Sort of trying a new story. Let me know what you think...should I keep writing?

Reviews

[Chloe Christine]

I love this. I love this so much! It is similar to the book I read called 13 Reasons Why, (READ THAT BOOK) but there are significant differences. You have an amazing writing voice, and I can't get enough of that in a writer. You're too good. Next chapter. ^-^

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Perfect amount of exposition--enough to get me acquainted with the characters and interested in Justin and Kate's lives, but not so much that it dragged the story down!

[carmz]

whooa... find it entertaining!!!!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

So far so good will read more later :)

[TOF_Matt]

A wonderful, very personal piece. It feels like you are writing from some kind of personal experience (maybe direct, maybe indirect). You managed to put a good hook in the end and kept the piece moving at a good pace (always important for an opening chapter).

I think my biggest critique for your style is just that you need to show more often than tell. That is, you want to avoid stating things too obviously, such as "That made me feel weak, like it made me less of a man for crying over someone I had lost touch with over the last year." It's very easy to tell the reader exactly what your character is feeling, but if you say something that infers it, rather than states it, you can strengthen the feeling inside your reader. For example, maybe saying something like "The longer I sat in that forest of Kate's family and friends, the one's who'd stayed rooted firmly by her even in the past year that I hadn't, the more I felt lost among them." This can give you that sense of weakness and being lost, as well as so much more, without actually saying it outright.

You can try doing this with actions too. So instead of "I felt ashamed that I couldn’t look remotely sad. I’m sure I just looked emotionless," something as simple as "My mouth couldn't even crack into a frown; it just sat stupidly neutral, unsure what emotion it even wanted to convey." Have your characters convey what you want said. IMO, in good writing the reader has to work a little bit. Actually, maybe "work" is the wrong word, but some sort of thought process occurs internally so that the reader feels like he/she's participating in your story, rather than just having it told to him/her.

An example of where you did a great job with this was "I met every eye that met mine." Rather than saying something like "I felt nervous of all the people looking at me," you've shown how Justin is at a standoff with the people he kind of feels are "out to get him," here. That says more than you can ever say directly to the reader via the narrator. = )

[SimonitroX]

Wow... this is really awesome. The entire read made me so anxious on what's going to happen next. The expression of sadness is amazing and you could sense it inside the character. The last moments were great and it shows how everything stood when everyone stared at the character.

Cool beginning! Thumbs up!

[Talia Renee]

I agree with Cleo, it does remind me a little of 13 Reasons (seriously, people, READ IT!)
I like it a lot so far. I love the emotions and drama shown in the first chapter alone! Can't wait to keep reading!

[TheElfPrincess]

A good opening, very interesting and easy-read. I enjoyed it very much. A well written chapter. Loved it.

[PyroKitty24]

I loved this! I was interested the whole time. I knew it would be good once I read the introduction to the story, and it was better than I even expected! I can't wait to read the next chapter, but I feel obliged to type this first ; )
This actually reminds me a bit of one of my best friend's deaths when I was in eighth grade. But even if it didn't, i think it would still have brought some tears to my eyes. You really got your emotions through with this piece

[Jasi Rae]

Very interesting beginning. I'm curious to see where you're going to take this. What I can say so far? I like the details you're giving. :)