The Storm inside of me

Dark Clouds

  Layer

    after

       Layer

Surround the sun

and make the light

go dark.

Everything suddenly seems

LOUDER!!!!

as thunder crackles

and rumbles and remains

for many seconds

causing my heart pain.

A fearful storm brewing

causing destruction inside of me.

The wind blows harder out

than it does in.

Branches fall off trees.

A bolt of lightening.

Then...

 

 

the rain.

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

That was an awesome write! The imagery that you created was so detailed, and so descriptive, and I thought that the whole concept of thunder and weather in general made for an incredibly effective metaphor. I liked how at the start of the piece you changed some of the formatting, and I kind of wanted to see more of that! Maybe experimenting with the font, or the size of particular words, could result in a really visually effective poem. The content though, was perfect. I really enjoyed reading this. :)
~PaperHearts

[charlotte talley]

this piece is very descriptive of depression to me. yes you made theis sound like our depression at times which I can relate as a storm. good work

[Dinesh Sairam]

Nice. Sorry, can't say it's 'Awesome' :) Push more imagery into the poem and add better words to the stanzas. :) Keep writing.

[Gomer LePoet]

nice piece here SL. comparing the internal storms with the physical storms is amazing how well they compare. reading this made me think of the old Jim Morrison and the Doors song, Riders on the Storm. good job.

[Ruth]

Wonderfully expressed!
The internal storm that threatens the self, we have to live with daily!
Nice work!
xx

[Alice_In_WhateverLand]

I love storms and and i loved your poem :) thanks Sam :) x

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I like the great description and the story in your words. A storm seem to get more powerful when the power and anger gets closer to the source. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[The Analog Kid]

Great imagery of the storm! I like the pause at the end.

[SimplyDisastrous]

I just read this, Lol, but I got a red request saying to read it. Well, I'll read it again if you want xD

[Norma M Sutton]

Very nice. You catch the essence of a storm well.

[SimplyDisastrous]

Very powerful write.