Oops...There It Is

When everything so right, goes so wrong.

     Katy was considered by most to be the high school s**t. Funny thing was, for a school s**t; she didn’t sleep with anyone. Katy was the only girl I knew that wanted a bad reputation and did nothing to earn it. Throughout high school, I think she had two boyfriends, but she sure could talk a good game. We rode the bus together each morning. Katy would sit behind me and tell me all the s**t she wanted to do to me. She said she was going to knock on my bedroom window around 5:30am next Tuesday. The problem was it was always next Tuesday. She never showed up. I fell for this s**t for three months. I would get up extra early every Tuesday to be ready and then had to burn one off as soon as I knew it was too late for her to show. I was going to screw her six ways to Sunday. All I needed was the opportunity.

     My buddy Lance lived half a life the month we graduated from high school. He graduated, his girlfriend had their baby, he got married and then he left for the army. His was the only wedding I ever attended where they baptized the baby right after the ceremony. Lance’s attitude was great, “What, like it’s some secret I have a kid?”

     I was the best man, and this apparently gave me some sort of ‘pseudo celebrity’ status. After the ceremony, everyone met at the bride’s parents’ house for the reception, and I had found myself in an interesting conversation before we all went into the house. Three girls were discussing who was going to take me home after the reception. I weighed my choices carefully. Allison was the one I wanted the most, but she had done nothing but tease the s**t out of me for the last two years and, frankly, was just too decent to let me use her properly. Sonja was the wild card because she had never shown the least bit of interest in me and had a boyfriend. Katy had also teased the s**t out of me in the past, but she was the only girl to crash Lance’s bachelor party and had a tendency to grab my package when no one was looking. We had a winner.

     After the reception about eight of us, including the bride and groom, piled into Casey’s 1968 Catalina, which would seat ten comfortably, and headed to our usual haunts. Lance wanted us all to go one last time before he headed off to boot camp in a few days. We stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for a few dozen donut holes and then went to the gravel pit to watch porn at Skyborn Drive-In. Skyborn is one of the last drive-ins still around and, in the 80s, one of the last to show porno movies. Behind the drive-in was a gravel pit with mounds of gravel about two stories high. Climb the mound, and watch porn for free. So there we all sat, shot the s**t and ate our donuts. We get ready to leave, and I had to take a piss. I was off doing my thing when another car pulled into the gravel pit. I cut it off mid stream, and we all jumped in the car and left. OK, for a guy to cut it off mid stream is not the most pleasant thing in the world, so I was, jokingly, expressing my discomfort in the car. Katy, sitting next to me, started to rub my crotch and whispered in my ear that she would be glad to “kiss it and make it better”. I think I made the right choice.

     Everyone was a little riled up after watching the porno movie, so I volunteered a video from my dad’s private stash hidden behind our entertainment center. Katy volunteered her house because her parents were away on vacation. Again, I think I made the right choice. About 30 minutes into the Marilyn Chamber’s classic ‘Insatiable’, Lance declared “It’s time for the honeymoon!” and he and his new bride left. Soon after, Katy and I are the only two left watching the movie. All alone in her empty house. I had been fantasizing about this moment for a year, so I made my move. We went to her parents’ bedroom and started making out on the water bed. Katy pushed me on my back and removed my pants. She straddled me then eased down, right on it. She felt slick and smooth and fantastic, and oops…I’m done. It really sneaks up on you. By the time you realize what’s going on, it’s too late. If I would have had a little more notice, I would have tried to enjoy it. And when you’re done, you’re really done. There’s no faking to cover it up.

     Katy was out of the bed and walked toward the bathroom complaining that cum’s running down her leg. I’m on my back staring at the ceiling. All my visions of carnal knowledge forged by endless repetition in the wee hours of the morning evaporated before my eyes. I wasn’t even a good rodeo ride. She did give me a second chance in her sister’s room, but by then I was too crippled with stage fright. I did give her a good going over with my right hand, so the night wasn’t a total loss.

     I found out later that Kyle was snooping around outside trying to see the show for free but could only hear what was going on. He said it sounded like I pounded the s**t out of her and commended me on a job well done. Who was I to let him down?