The Moment I Knew I Was No Longer A Child

the moment I knew I was no longer a child 

i watched the media

black community

the world

completely dismiss the taken life of Rekia Boyd

as to tell me

to scream to me that

black lives do not matter

and if they do

it’s only for the black boys

that moment i knew i was no longer a child

i was a comma after a “but”

i was an after thought

after all the protesters thought the battle was finished

i was a forgettable moment in the back of someone’s mind

an irritable itch in the back of my people’s throat

something they wish they could cough up

or swallow

the moment i knew i was no longer a child

is when i realized that i belong only with the words

‘ghetto’

‘ratchet’

that my skin color

had already decided that the only place in the media that i belong in is

the Maury show

or dancing behind some white pop star that uses me as a prop

uses my culture as cos play

to sell more

or to show that they are no longer innocent

as if what I am and what i came from

is dirty

is dark

is sinful

is black.

the moment i realized i was no longer a child

was when i saw people justifying

the death

of a 12 year old black boy

by saying

“he was a man”.