Eyes

A man talking to his wife at her viewing.

Eyes

 

"to the world, your eyes weren’t that specIal, but to me they were the world,

looking at them, was like looKing through a portal to your soul,

greener than fresh grass, more beautIful than the stars,

I could read them Like a book, and knew whether you were happy or mad,

knowing you that welL, made it easy for me to live,

I hate seeing you this way, and when you were asleEp,

because I loveD seeing your greens, staring up at me,

you were my everything, I loved you with all my Heart,

I can’t Explain what happened, or why you did what you did,

but this is what you get b***h, when youR eyes stopped being for me!"

(_  _ _ _ _ _ _  _ _ _)

Author's Note

This is the first poem that I ever wrote, and it is a visual poem. Although this is being whispered by the man, I decided to include a secret message to give a creep factor, and so the readers could see what happened, if it didn't come across at first glance. I wrote this for my creative writing class, and they all had the reaction that I was hoping I would get, so hopefully you do as well.

Reviews

[conversations with her ..]

I really enjoyed this poem, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your pieces. I'm kind of new on here and it would be an honor if you can review my 4 new recent poems. (The world is ours, Nostalgia, Paradise, and You)

Thank you and Keep up the Good work!

[just is]

Very creative write here. I like this and loved the ending part of it the best.

[Sasha]

Oh wow. Lol at the ending. This is really creative. I've never seen a mock eulogy with a hidden message on this site before. ...or ever, really. Your imagery was beautiful and the so is the picture you chose for it. Nice job.

[E. A. Fielder]

Kind of creepy. I guess that's what you get when a serial killer gets his hands on a strumpet with pretty eyes. well done.

[deeps]

Now this was simply amazing and stating facts, Like this alot.
This is a very well written vent here. Very creative as well.
I enjoyed this.

[Lindsay]

i remember this from before. everyone was like "whaaaaat?" really well-done. cool concept.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

its say KILLED HER right?, wow.... this is really good, angry because she had a lover, maybe? idk thats the impression i got

[cest la vie]

Well C.. I see you jumped the river divide and did a fine job too I must add.
So much said in such a short space..
Edgy, frightful and well written.
Kudos My friend!!

[Constance-Outspoken]

Creative... interesting... and yes, a little creepy. :) Goal achieved.