Thoughts

Just my thoughts. Or something.

A nuisance. A waste of time, effort and strength. That's what I thought of people, and society in general. Of course, because of what I thought of it, the world decided to mock me. I kept on meeting people everyday who had no significance whatsoever in my life. Small talk, random rubbish topics. I didn't have anyone to share my true self with. It's not as if society rejects me, it was me rejecting society. I refused to stand by as our so-called views were manipulated by never-ending lies and delusions. I was lost. I didn't know what to believe in anymore. There were voices in my head, a multitude of them, each telling me different s**t. I stood still as the world rushed past me, leaving me behind in the clutter that is my view of the world.

That was until I met her. Time stopped, and I raise my head to see a stunningly beautiful woman staring at me, as if feeling my emotions herself. We lock eyes, and I could feel hers looking deeply into my own. All of a sudden, she smiles, and all the voices in my head disappeared. This was the first time I felt someone smile sincerely at me, no lies and fake stories. I smile back out of respect, I guess. It was a blistering -20 degrees outside that night, and yet here she was in front of me, smoke coming out with our breaths, smiling at each other. She holds out her hand for me, and I take it without a moments hesitation. We didn't say a single word to each other as we walked towards what seemed to be a very bright light. Somehow I felt very calm during this time with her. My doubts about the world, my fears, my delusions all hid behind my shadow. It wasn't as if they all disappeared. She just seemed to null all of them, with just her smile and intent to make me to. 

Suddenly, I feel a tap on my right shoulder. I look to see who or what it was, only to see nothing but darkness staring back at me. I return my attention to the girl I was with, but shocked to see that she was gone, leaving nothing but a trail of black smoke and fog. I also noticed that the bright light we were supposed to go to had disappeared. I was covered in the night once again. That's when I realized something. I should not have averted my gaze, that I should have kept my eyes on her. That tap, whoever or whatever it was, represented my demons. They distract me from the final and true answer to the mysteries of the world. And that woman, though quiet and whose name I did not know, was my light. She silenced my doubts and fears, even for just a while. 

I learned that I should never have strayed too far from the light, because all it took was a tap on the shoulder to return and banish me once again to the dark pit from which I had just emerged from.