II

July 7, 2013

2015 Hours

A door opened in the darkness of the quiet apartment. If the hallway light was on, barely anything could be distinguished in the apartment due to the placing of the light in the hallway. If the hallway light wasn’t on, then everything would be pitch black due to the towering apartment complex next door. The view sucked, but the apartment itself was nice and cozy, and a good fit. The main living room consisted of a brown leather couch that was worn from being sat on over the years. The only expensive items in sight were the Samsung TV and the entertainment system it rested upon. Inside that entertainment system sat hundreds of Blu-Ray’s and even more DVD’s. An Xbox 360 was also hooked up to the TV, but there were barely any games. It looked like it wasn’t used that much, as dust sat on it, and around it in piles.

The kitchen was a wreck. Spilled milk and eggs everywhere on the countertop. It was clear someone was trying to make something, but ended up giving up. The carton of milk laid open right next to a big pile of spilled sugar. If the mess was not present, the kitchen would look decent to a lot of people. Not great, but not bad either.

As the door slowly opened, a high-pitched creak resonated through the house as it was trying to wake everyone up. The soaking man behind the door stopped, as if not making any movement would reconcile for making a loud sound. The man then sighed to himself, and quickly opened the door all the way. It didn’t make any more sound as it flung wide open. He then turned around and closed the door as quickly, shutting it as quietly as possible.

The man turned around, and stared at the blackness of his own apartment. A light from outside was cast into the apartment, and his face winced in the sudden harsh light. In this light, the qualities of his face was present. His face was soft and kind, but also weathered and tired. Despite the latter, he had a younger air to him, and he used that to his advantage to swoon over the ladies at bars from time to time. His brother was often jealous of him for his looks, but he kept telling his brother not to be. Sometimes the handsomeness of a man can be a curse. Of course, this man was Dan. The light passed, then came back around again. Dan looked over next door, and saw the lights coming from some apartment having a party. There was no sound, but he felt the faint vibrations of some bass. He quickly made his way to the window, and closed the curtains. He returned his focus back to the hallway, as it puzzled it him.

Since when did Chelsea sleep without the hallway light on? Dan thought. He was going to check on it when his phone rang.

So tell me what you want, what you really really want, the Spice Girls sang from the busted speakers of Dan’s cell phone.

“S**t!” Dan hoarsely whispered. He turned off the ringer quickly, not wanting to wake up his sleeping daughter in the house, and picked up the phone without checking the caller ID. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Hey Dan.” A woman on the other side said with an ice cold tone. Dan covered the mouthpiece and silently cussed. He then put on a fake smile, and went towards the kitchen.

“Jasmine!” Dan exclaimed. Not too happy to talk to his ex, but it was less nerve-wracking talking to her without an attitude. “What’s up, girl?”

“Chelsea called again to say goodnight,” Jasmine said. Dan pinched his eyes with his fingers, and sighed. “Do you know why she did that?”

“Could it be because she misses you?” Dan asked. He knew it wasn’t that easy. He walked into the kitchen, and noticed it was a huge mess. He stared at the big pile of everything.

“No, Dan! It’s because her father wasn’t there to say goodnight!” Jasmine half-yelled. Dan winced, and drew the phone away from his ear.

Ow. Dan thought. He decided he’ll deal with the mess in the morning, and went to get a nice cold beer from the fridge. On his way to the fridge, he saw the post-it note on the bottom that read “Mommy’s phone number!!” with a phone number and multiple little hearts around it. He took a mental note to throw that away later.

“Look Jasmine, I was working a late night case with James. Okay? I’m home now, an-“

“Out with James again, huh? Slipping some cold ones I suppose?” Jasmine accused. Dan was speechless. How does this woman function every day? It was ironic how she accused him of drinking beers earlier when he wasn’t, while drinking a beer now.

“No! I just said I was out on a case,” Dan corrected. There’s a reason for this divorce. “Jesus woman. There was a murder, and we investigated the crime scene.” He took a few sips of the beer, and decided he wasn’t feeling it. He poured it down the sink, then just threw the can in there with it.

“Humph,” Jasmine grunted. Dan shook his head, and went back to the entrance of the apartment. He threw his keys on the table near the entrance door. He took off his wet boots as well, and made his way to Chelsea’s room when Jasmine started talking again. “Well I don’t care!” Jasmine yelled. Dan stopped short of Chelsea’s door, and rolled his eyes.

“I heard that!” Jasmine yelled. Dan’s body turned into a defensive stance, deciding he was done with her. He put on a serious face, and got ready to chew her out.

A white van pulled up right next to the fire escape of an apartment building. The same apartment building that Dan entered just seconds before they did. The man driving looked towards his wife in shotgun, and she just simply nodded. No words needed to be spoken. What they’re doing tonight has been planned and talked through for the past few months. Get in, get out. Let no one see what’s happening, and be quiet as possible.

The man parked the van, and smiled as he looked up from the driver’s window to the apartment he was going to loot tonight.

Getting out the car, he put on his hood and positioned himself underneath the ladder. Getting the big hook out from behind the trash can, he swung it a few times and then let go aiming for the ladder. The hook latched itself, and he thrust down with all of his might. The ladder slammed on the ground, and he started making his way up the fire escape.

He slipped on the wet metal climbing up, causing him to hit his shins and knees on the sharp corners of the metal. “Blast this rain,” he mumbled as he rubbed his legs. His voice was deep and seemed to rumble with vibration. He looked up to see how far away he was from the window. So close.

He and his wife have been stalking this apartment for weeks. They went and learned the patterns of the man who lived there to make sure they would pull this heist on the perfect day. As far as they knew, he was out with some guy at this time. Little did the couple know, the guy who lived there was halfway up the stairs to his apartment right at that instance.

Reaching the window, the man looked inside to find a nursery room decked out with elephants everywhere. Stuffed elephants in the corner, elephants painted on the walls in dancing positions, elephant themed drawer knobs, and baby elephants above a gray bed slowly rotating clockwise.

“She’s a little old for babyish things like that… but hey. The younger, the better,” the man said to himself. He grabbed the bottom of the window, and slowly pulled up trying not to make a sound. He was surprised it wasn’t locked, considering who lived here. The man opened it all the way, and crept his way inside.

He crouched to the bed as silently as possible, and looked at the child lying there in the bed. He just smiled. He then looked at the door leading out of the room, and noticed a hallway light was on. He thought about it for a while, and decided to turn it off. He made his way to the door, out into the hall, and flipped the switch. The lights turned off, and it was almost pitch black.  The man looked around, and felt eerie. Cold shivers ran down his spine as he looked at this empty, dark apartment. The dark wasn’t his favorite thing in the world. In fact, it was the worst thing in the world.

Eventually, he shook it off, and went back inside the room and closed the door. He realized that he couldn’t see a thing in the pitch black darkness. Luckily, the elephants hanging above the bed glowed slightly, almost illuminating the child underneath it. He stood up now, and slowly made his way to the bed, trying to not trip over any toys in the dark.

The couple did their research, and they knew the child herself was no more than three. They knew her name, who her family was, why they’re living here, the father’s relationships, everything. Tonight, the man’s name isn’t Rogers. It’s Ronnie.

“Heeeeeyyy,” Rogers whispered as he bent over to be above the child’s face. He lightly shook the child until she woke up. The child rubbed her eyes, and looked at the man standing right above her in the semi-dark.

“Hey there mister,” the child said quietly, swiping her golden locks away from her face.

“Hey there baby girl! Do you know who I am?” Rogers asked with a sweet voice. His low, rumbly voice The child simply shook her head in almost a tired trance. “I’m your uncle Ronnie!”

“Uncle Ron-Ron?” The child asked, recognition in her voice. Rogers simply nodded his head.

“Did you get a haircut?” The child asked, giggling at Roger’s hair. Roger smiled before replying, giving the child a sense of comfort.

“Oh yeah! I like this haircut much mo-” A door creaked in the living room, and Rogers shut up right there. He quickly put a hand over the child’s mouth as well just in case. He then put a finger to his mouth to signal “be quiet”. The girl nodded her head slowly, curiosity in her light green eyes.

“Is that daddy?” The child whispered. Rogers wanted to know that answer as well.

So tell me what you want, what you really really want, the Spice Girls sang out loud, followed by a low whisper and a “Yeah, what is it?”

D****t. Rogers thought.

“Okay, pumpkin? We’re going to play a game!” Rogers said quickly, with a low whisper.

“What kind of-”

“We’re going to go off the balcony, down to the entrance, and go back up the stairs inside, and scare your daddy!” Rogers said with fake excitement. The child beamed with happiness, and agreed with a nod.

“Okay, let’s go! Oh! And you have to be really quiet,” Rogers whispered as he picked up the child, and started walking to the open window. The child weighed almost nothing.

“Very quiet,” The child repeated, followed by a soundless yawn.

As they made their way out of the balcony, the little girl thought of something. “You never called me ‘pumpkin’ before,” the child remarked.

“I do now.”

“Look, Jasmine. I’m honestly done with you, okay? I’m done with all of your s**t. I’m done hearing your stupid voice. And I’ll do what I damn well please, okay?” Dan snapped. Jasmine was flustered as Dan opened the door, and walked inside to Chelsea’s room. “And one more thing. Don’t call me aga-” Dan stopped talking as soon as he saw Chelsea’s empty bed. Dan looked over at the open window to the fire escape. A cold shiver spiraled down Dan, then fear right after it.

“What were you going to say? Huh?” Jasmine asked sharply. Content she finally found words to say against him. It took a moment before Dan realized what was truly going on.

“CALL THE COPS NOW!” Dan yelled, and he ran to the window, dropping his phone in the process. He climbed out the window, and looked down through the metal grating to see a man carrying Chelsea on his shoulders and a white van parked in the alley still running.

“HEY!” Dan yelled in a deep voice, hoping to scare the abductor. Unfortunately it worked, as the man yelped, and then slipped going down the stairs. Dan’s eyes widened as he saw what unfolded.

Everything happened at once. Rogers lost his grip of Chelsea as he fell head to toe on the metal stairs. The little blonde haired girl tumbled down the wet metal stairs in a lifeless motion. An ear-splitting crack sounded when she crashed at the edge of the fire escape right next to Rogers. Dan screamed as he raced down the stairs in haste. Roger groaned as he got his bearings. The first thing he noticed was the screaming that was coming from above him. He quickly realized what happened, and started running down the stairs. As he reached the bottom of the escape, he jumped to the top of the van, crashing as he made his landing onto the ground. Quickly, he limped into the driver’s seat and gunned down the alley.

Dan didn’t even look at the fleeing van. He was focused on his baby girl.

“Chelsea!” Dan yelled through the pelting rain. He slid on the metal, scraping his knees as he came to a stop near Chelsea, and picked her up. He looked at her through misty eyes. The pain building in his chest was like none he has ever felt. There was a nasty cut on her forehead that was bleeding profoundly, dying the small child’s blonde locks a deep red. It required stitches, but that wouldn’t save her. Dan then did the only thing he thought of doing. Rocking his baby like she was a newborn again.

“Chelsea, Chell baby. Talk to me, please talk to me,” Dan pleaded. Chelsea’s lips remained shut, a shade of blue that wasn’t there before. The sudden color change wasn’t from the temperature of the rain, and Dan knew that. Tears formed in Dan’s eyes. Sirens could be heard in the distance.

“Chelsea, please baby, talk! Talk to me!” Dan yelled. The raving party next door became silent as people appeared at the window in curiosity. A few people gasped, and pulled out their phones to call 911. The rain picked up, and Dan’s clothes were drenched. So drenched, the three layers he was wearing weighed fifty pounds easily. The sirens seemed a block away. Lightning crackled nearby, making everyone in the window jump; however, Dan barely heard it.

Tears started falling and blending with the rain. He opened his mouth to speak, but all that happened was a pitiful squeak. He closed his mouth, and opened it to try again, but this time it was sobbing that came out. He couldn’t control what he was doing. He held Chelsea close to his body to try to warm her up.

“Daddy?” Chelsea said weakly. He held her out in his outstretched hands, and smiled with happiness that only a father can have. She looked up at him with eyes that were barely alive. She blinked once, then all of a sudden she was alive. Her skin was warm, and full of color. She got out of her father’s arms and smiled at him.

“It’s okay daddy!” She exclaimed, opening her arms wide for a hug. Dan laughed at his little girl’s playfulness, and tried to get up. He looked down in confusion, as something was on him weighing him down. Lightning crashed nearby, blinding Dan into black spots. The spots in his eyes disappeared, and Chelsea wasn’t in front of him anymore. She was still in his arms, her head hanging backwards. Everything was just like before.

He sat there for a full minute, the realization sinking in she was finally gone. Dan cried. Not just cry, but he sobbed loudly, not caring who heard. No one could hear in this rain anyway. He looked down at his lifeless child, and a new wave came to him. This was the kind of sobbing that made his nose run with mucus, and words being impossible to find. He couldn’t help but have this feeling.

This awful, dreadful feeling in him. He couldn’t describe it. He couldn’t even comprehend it. It was like someone grabbed his heart, gave it to the Devil, and the Devil stabbed it repeatedly with a fiery pitchfork made of loss and grief and tragedy. Every time he looked at her, that feeling multiplied by ten.

He buried his head next to Chelsea’s, and felt the metallic taste of blood on his lips.

“Chelsea… Please…” Dan pleaded with his life. Nothing happened. Red and blue flashes of light illuminated the dead alley. Dan couldn’t hear the sirens anymore, nor the rain as it clashed with the rusty metal around him. Lightning flashed, but the sound was mute. The cops were speaking in megaphones as the rain picked up; but, Dan didn’t feel anything.

All of his senses died as Chelsea turned cold.

Reviews

[Norbanus]

You certainly came through with your promise from the last chapter that 'Dan would know.'

The flow is still suffering from telling and from unnecessary words. Sometimes going so far as stating the obvious.

But then, I'm only 2 chapters into the story, so it would be good for me to hold my piece for a few more segments.

I can't resist a comment though, on Chelsea's momentary recovery, her smile, and playfulness. It's unrealistic and needs a rework.

The segment is a powerful character builder for the Dan character, just a few cases of wordiness and repetition.

The chapter opens with a good clean suspense driving sentence. The second however, is long, passive and unnecessary. Here are a few suggestions to trim a bit of the excess:
A door opened in(consider 'into') the darkness of the quiet apartment. If the hallway light was on, barely anything could be distinguished in the apartment due to the placing of the light in the hallway.(consider reworking this sentence with something like 'The hallway light, place two doors away, barely illuminated anything inside.') If it wasn’t on, then everything would be pitch black due to the towering apartment complex next door.(avoid passive voice. Consider: 'Without it though, the apartment would be in total darkness, as the building next door blocked light from out of doors. It's still wordy, but is less passive.