aware

I’m awake,

                                I vision a lotta projects

                                Filled with prospects

                                But benzes and Gucci lenses

                                Blur their optics

 

Starve your heart

Feed their pockets

 

                           Words flying fiercely from the subconscious

                           Briefly bringing back a new breed

                           Tired of this monotonous

                               

                           People, money, bullshit

                           We all equal, but is funny

                           We’re ashamed of the flag white            

                           Your man got killed but you doing his wife

                           I guess it isn’t that bad, right?

 

                           All these “masters”

                           Looking like experimental hamsters

                           Chasing for the wheel to stop

                           When will humans stop...?

                                      To kneel to pop. 

Author's Note

Raw intake, not cooked. The truth isn't medium rare

Reviews

[Perkele.7885]

This is a 'new school' write and I am an 'old school' writer as well as reader. Took me a while to get into your flow, getting familiar with your come and go and your alliteration and comparisons. But. I grabbed the content of your poem and that is the point of it all! You have your own style! You will get your readership soon enough.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

interesting......
truthful and yes RAW!
i loved it!!
:)

[Lucy Morningstar &heart..]

very interesting and rap-like. good job :)

[Ally Monique]

This is so unique! It sounds like it could be a rap song ahha
"People, money, bullshit
We all equal, but is funny
We’re ashamed of the flag white."

These lines have left me speechless
there just so much depth and truth behind all of your words
you perfectly described our worlds modern society in a few short stanzas
astounding piece :)

[Farrsight]

pretty cool. I thought it was creative!

[Valeigh Starr]

Sweet. Seeing the world's inner machinery

[Child of God]

this is freaking awesome, I enjoyed it

[topsyturvy]

Straight to the point, loved it. A rough draft of how society works?

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

The poem flows really well and there is a sort of rhythm that goes with the theme over the influence of today's pop music and it's obsession with greed and women. I also liked how you used rhyming effectively, it tends to go the cliche quite often, but for this poem it really works because it adds to the rhythm which gives more meaning to the poem. Good work!

[Einstein Noodle]

human weakness of greed and lust ... its all there ... really admire the form you created ...and some great lines that others have already mentioned ... its raw all right
E.