KOM

Thoughts that occur in a blur

Airplanes and Time ...

What do they have in common?

                                  They both take you places but you never know for sure what to expect 

                                    You know there's a future ... you know wheres the location

But it's ... never certain.

 

 

            These two things are just humans medium to

navigate in life.

 

Either we live bad or right.

Move in the morning , some prefer night.

 

And our inner self is the engine of this plane

And we have inner help, it's just not mentioned through our pain. 

 

AND the craziest thing of all, is that ... IT KEEPS ON MOVING 

 

Stop after stop .. IT KEEPS ON MOVING 

Fear stands as the biggest block .. IT KEEPS ON MOVING 

 

The planes airline is called Tic Toc and. 

 

IT KEEPS ON MOVING 

 

Reviews

[Mike Emil]

too early for riddles
and I hate airline passage
HAI!!!

[costa siwale]

I simply love your poem, very 'reflective'

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Wonderful imagery and comparisons, CRZ. Enjoyed!

[MKERED]

This piece has great energy and I can almost hear the spoken cadence of the piece. I love the use elipses, bolding and font changes to simulate the really complex rhythms you're going for. Really nice work.

One brief suggestions that you can take or leave (because at the end of the day, this piece stands quite well on its own.)

The repetition of "IT KEEPS ON MOVING" is really effective and it kind of pulls the reader along like a train engine. There are two lines I'd truncate a bit however, because they sap that forward momentum. First how about "Fear's the biggest block" instead of "Fear stands as the biggest block." Second, how about "The planes called Tic Toc and" instead of "The planes airline is called Tic Toc and"

Also, not sure how the title is supposed to be said, but if your want it to be read as Kay-Oh-Em, then I'd put periods between the three letters. I was reading it as "Com" until I made the connection to the refrain.

Really excellent piece. I'm going to dig in and check out more of your stuff.

[Justsimplyjulia]

Beautifully written... i can feel the passion in your words. great work!
-dragon

[wordman]

well you are right on with this write

[Daisy Morgy]

realyy liked this! great work

[ayosonolowo]

Nice............poem i like it.......great...

[Einstein Noodle]

aha! had to think a bit before the light bulb went off KOM ... i'm a little slow :) given your thoughts in a blur ... i still try to find a rhythm in this ... and a unity ... i think there is a lot of fodder for poems contained in this ... :}
E.

[writing mojo]

I like this time inspired piece, makes me want to fly instead of living life on stand bye..