Thought
A Poem by
CRZ
My destination is ahead of me.
So everyone I encounter,
Consider them a frienenemie.
Until proven otherwise.
Because others want to see you
make it to see your downfall
televised.
© 2013 CRZ
Reviews
one of the reasons I hate reality tv shows
damnable things
ARRGH!!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
Dear CRZ Jason CRZ,
I think you should either remove all the periods or revise the punctuation in this poem because the periods make it hard to flow. Also the second stanza is a little confusing. I think it could use some revising. Although, I do understand what you are saying, the execution of the piece was just awkward. Never mind, I guess it is fine how it is.
I do not agree with the idea of this poem either. I just believe in giving every one the benefit of a doubt. You only get one shot with me, and it's usually a long one. I guess though I can agree you must be cautious of those around you- those who want to see you make it and those who want to see you fall.
Interesting read. Thanks for sharing!
Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,
God bless
Posted 11 Years Ago
Dear CRZ Jason CRZ,
I think you should either remove all the periods or revise the punctuation in this poem because the periods make it hard to flow. Also the second stanza is a little confusing. I think it could use some revising. Although, I do understand what you are saying, the execution of the piece was just awkward. Never mind, I guess it is fine how it is.
I do not agree with the idea of this poem either. I just believe in giving every one the benefit of a doubt. You only get one shot with me, and it's usually a long one. I guess though I can agree you must be cautious of those around you- those who want to see you make it and those who want to see you fall.
Interesting read. Thanks for sharing!
Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,
God bless
Your intent comes through well. The syntax is a bit of a problem in the second stanza.
"Until proven otherwise
because others
want to see you fail
and your downfall televised."
Or something along those lines. As written, it is a little confusing. With a little editing, it would be a great poem.
Posted 11 Years Ago
Your intent comes through well. The syntax is a bit of a problem in the second stanza.
"Until proven otherwise
because others
want to see you fail
and your downfall televised."
Or something along those lines. As written, it is a little confusing. With a little editing, it would be a great poem.
True, true, trust is a cool test to pass, not everybody is worth the time. cool and simple.
Posted 11 Years Ago
True, true, trust is a cool test to pass, not everybody is worth the time. cool and simple.
Only seven lines, yet they say so much. Very well done:)
Posted 11 Years Ago
Only seven lines, yet they say so much. Very well done:)
Such a short, seemingly simple poem, but leaves a great impression. Beautifully written.
Posted 11 Years Ago
Such a short, seemingly simple poem, but leaves a great impression. Beautifully written.
Frenenimies seeing your downfall televised, apt words chosen and not paranoid at all
Posted 11 Years Ago
Frenenimies seeing your downfall televised, apt words chosen and not paranoid at all
The world of frenemies where everyone seems ready to caught you on candid camera and display it to the world. Well done.
Posted 11 Years Ago
The world of frenemies where everyone seems ready to caught you on candid camera and display it to the world. Well done.
frenemies abound and true friends are a scarce commodity.
Well penned.
Posted 11 Years Ago
frenemies abound and true friends are a scarce commodity.
Well penned.
Very nice bro, I understand what its like when others cannot wait to see life snatched away from us.
Posted 11 Years Ago
Very nice bro, I understand what its like when others cannot wait to see life snatched away from us.
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47 Reviews
Added on July 11, 2013
Last Updated on November 3, 2013
Author
CRZ New York, NY
About
Poet & Artist
Thou shall not rest until I make my whole fam rich
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