8:16

Life is anything but stable.

         One day you're at the top then you're struggling in a new different way. It's just up to our character and soul to make some type consistency in this dirt, so consistent that when any challenge that passes through us either expected , unexpected, side ways, Fridays, that it won't matter , we'll get through it.

                         The only body we have to live in is ourselves. 

                                       

                                      Your body is a building. You're the super, you make space for who ever you want in your life. If they pay their rent on a reasonable time, they get closer to you and you trust them. There will always be problems in your building. Either is door problems, sink problems, cable problems , they will always come. 

                                            

                                           Having a perfect building in our lives is impossible 

                                                                                                    Is up to us, 

                                                                                                         to handle the

                                                                                                               problems 

                                                                                                     or let 'em handle us

Reviews

[Noehm Strawhair]

I really liked how you compared a building with a person's own body, I hadn't even heard of a comparison like that and I think it is really creative and accurate. By reading your work I have really started to imagine how my building looks like, and how the people inside it behave. I think maybe I need a remodeling.
I really enjoyed it, but I just wanted to say that I would really liked it if you would make an example of a description of a room and it's colors to the situation in a person's life. That would be so awesome!!! Thanks a lot c:

[CRZ]

Thank you maggie :) & you gave me a great idea, we'll let time decide what I do.

[Noehm Strawhair]

and I'll be eager to read it!! :D

[Einstein Noodle]

yes too true ... its frightening to attempt to claim our rooms .... re-arrange ... invite ... keep out ... great analogy !!! interesting irony that dirt mixed with a little this and a little that becomes cement that hold ones feet fast in its grip ...yet is also the stuff that keeps the building together ...
great advice to stand tall and endure ... we can make it if we try ... there is a way ...
E.

[Elisam]

Hi CRZ , this is my favourite poem of yours so far. The third sentence is particularly good, very good! There is something in this sentence that I have seen captured in the other poems of your that I have read. Maybe it's a little more abstract than usual for you. I'm sorry I can't quite articulate it but well done.

[roarke]

do an alternate draft, and answer these questions:

Top of what in life? (life is too general and too varied at the same time to have only one top.)

It's just up to our character- What is "it's"? and what part of character?

If you call your body a building, then write it a building and put specific characters doing specific things in and to that body building.

You don't have to lose your prose feel, just get more personal and specific, the reader will fall in and drown in the concept and story and want more swimming lessons. Keep at it.

[Pryde Foltz]

Absolutely. Keep your building clean and in good condition and you'll get visitors. Loved the rhythm of his.

[London's Lily]

I was nodding in agreement while reading this ~ you're right, we need to be in control of ourselves, lest our problems take over and we lose completely. Well written, nice job :)

[Frieda P]

I think our bodies and minds are much more complex than a building, but I like how you broke it down to make the comparison, we are our own keeper, if we don't care of our own construction who will?

I think you meant 'super' not supper, that threw me off a bit.

[Schyala]

I know I keep saying this but... I ADORE YOUR STYLE!!

[Erica]

once again, you have blown me away. You're writing are so beautiful, you should never stop writing. I love your comparison bodies to buildings. It makes so much since. This is something i feel most people need to hear....I am just blown away, truly, brilliant.

[InsanityWriter]

Very nice. :) I enjoyed reading this piece. (:

[Hester Vane]

The formatting is great, it compliments the meaning and tone of the piece brilliantly. Well done