Too Late

Hey. You seem happy today, I'm glad you're feeling'

the feeling of peace. 

I need a piece of your mind for a minute.

My soul is happy and since your happy, I'm hoping you can put some in it.

Hey. I guess you don't hear me, I'm friendly no need to fear me.

Hey what's up, are you sad? are you feeling down?

I'm here if you need a ear or maybe two

I've been here for you for about two years.

You never pay me attention, I guess is because 

you're sad and you don't want anybody bothering

you or is it just me. I'm here but I need to jut breathe

yooooo, are you mad today ? you looked heated?

You need help with anything? I have your back if anything

hello? Can't understand my words. This silence isn't cute

I know you're mad or whatever but don't put this voice on mute.

okay, whatever. I know this can't last forever. I'll sever who ever

but then again who am I to you?

Today, I am just walking. Walking with no particular location

I started walking and I heard someone screaming from behind me

sounded like it was saying " Jello , Mellow , Fellow or Yellow"

I don't know it was something like that, oh well.

It was too late.

Reviews

[Kianna]

Dear CRZ,

How are you today? I saw this poem in my news feed and the title caught my eye because I surely can identify with that title. I must point out that in the first stanza, third line, change "your" to "you're." I'm supposing in same line, the word "some," refers to the peace the narrator is talking to. This line right here seems loose, "I'm friendly no need to fear me." I feel like that stanza can do without it, but that's my opinion. Overall, this stanza to me reminds me of a poisonous relationship in where there's so much giving, very little receiving.

In the third stanza, in the first line, change "a" to "an." In the third line of that stanza, remove the word, "is," as it is idly there. The last line, change "jut" to "just." The second stanza reminds me of someone being invisible and imprisoned by another's emotional episodes.

This line was a tad awkward, "you looked heated." This is awkward too, "don't put this voice on mute." There's no structure rhyme scheme from the beginning so no need to make anything rhyme now.

Anywho, the feeling is definitely something one can relate to trying to help someone, but not being able to. I liked the meaning and indeed was a good read.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

I have to say your feedback was the best I've read on here. So, I'm going to have to agree with what you are saying about this poem. Overall, I did enjoy how the tone remained constant throughout the poem, even if there were a few grammar fixes ( which, is normal by the way), it did have moments of beautiful diction, I especially like the line "I need a piece of your mind for a minute." It really brings the reader into the tone of the piece.

[Angel]

Hello.
This is a very interesting piece. I found it quite intriguing.

[kublakhan27]

I often wonder if this is how people see me...I like the "piece of your mind" idea, and the last bit was quite clever...well done :)

[Rebecca Buller]

Another excellent piece. This had a nice beat to it. It sort of reminded me of something written by Jack Kerouac. (He was an amazing poet from way back.) Good job!

[carol burgess romance]

I like your ending...too late for some..very good write

[Rob Funk]

I admire your talent, good job.

[Astro]

Why waste time on those who don't deserve it. I like how you describe the caring nature of your being in dialogue that isn't reciprocated. Interesting design. There is a couple of small errors to edit. In this line, "My soul is happy and since your happy," "your" should be "you are/you're". In this sentence you forgot an 's' in the word "just". " I'm here but I need to jut breathe"

[Peter H]

awww the popular idiom : you don't know what you have until you lose it : good write my friend i liked this

[TL Boehm]

for all the times we focus on being there for someone who is going through whatever emotion - there are also those times when we are simply walking through life - and we miss the opportunity - this is what this poem says to me - but that is the beauty of poetry - it speaks the language of multiple souls.

[Annabelle Lee]

I'm not exactly sure of this. It was fuzzy in some places and just staggering around a bit in others. I can't tell you how to fix that. Hell, to most people there's probably nothing wrong with it. I'm not trying to put you down. I just know that I prefer for people to tell me what they didn't like about my poems rather than everything I did right, that won't make me a better writer

[Kristin Lee]

Nicely penned free flowing thoughts. Moods so shift suddenly and unexpected, you've expressed this well and how innocent people get caught in the crossfire.