6/14

I'm gonna be the best, it's my prognosis

need to cut people off, need to stay focused. 

Gotta remember the feeling I had when I wrote this

I was feeling de-ter-mined

my heart was bold, it wasn't hur-tin

Cause pen on the pad is a bullet to a gun

Have love for this like a mother to her son

Love is heavily rooted, in my veins

I'm here thru the losses and the gains

Everyday another lesson

Thank God for this blessing 

To give me a mind, a mind of my own

to differ good and bad, occurring in my dome

is in my chromosome , to be a man of my own.

Author's Note

I advise to read this quick and smooth. It will soothe the whole piece and also click on the picture :)

Reviews

[Megan]

I like the flow of this poem- the rhythm and the rhyme. And the proposal and the separation toward the end.

[CRZ]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it

[Megan]

you're welcome! thanks for sharing :)

[carol burgess romance]

I really like this it has great rhythm ....like a rap....great write

[CRZ]

Thank you, poetry is the foundation, it's the core of rap.

[Regina Boheme]

I like it. Like the tone, rhyme and theme. I like the rhythm, like a rap song. The more images the better - gun, veins, mother, son, chromosome. Great use of language. A sense of freedom. This poem can be inspiring for others wanting to write. Especially youth.

[CRZ]

Thank you very much, I hope it can inspire people to be free when it comes to writing,

[NA]

Uplifting and thought provoking :)

[CRZ]

Glad you noticed the purpose.

[nobody]

Yes, I feel the rhythm in this and didn't need to read fast... it flows all the way through. Nicely done! Keep that pen on the pad. It's working for you!

[CRZ]

Thank you very much Alexandra

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Well done.

[CRZ]

Thank you

[martinos74]

A pen on paper is worth ten bullets in a gun!

[CRZ]

Mos def^

[Matt]

Cool, really flows well. I could imagine this going well with a few other poems/song lyrics intertwined to represent the lessons.

[CRZ]

Thanks & I appreciate the connection you're making

[Frieda P]

Go you, keep that mindset...

'Cause pen on the pad is a bullet to a gun'

It sure can be...that line says it all...nice one!

[CRZ]

Thank you :) , if you think about it. Readers who understand a piece of work are people with bulletproof vest because they survived and understood the point being made by the bullet. I'm rambling now lol

[KAOlmsted]

Quick and smooth is good advice, but I stumbled here: "Gotta remember the felling I had when I wrote this..." simply for the typo, not because it isn't a great line (it is)...I like the message in this, Jason. A lot. Good work.

[CRZ]

Yeah, sorry for the confusion. But I'll just leave the typo there. I wrote this in the rush of the feeling. So I guess you can tell how into I was when writing this lol. Thank you very much.

[KAOlmsted]

Completely your call, but I'd fix it. The intensity is shown through the words, not the quickness with which you wrote it. Sloppy work is just that; sloppy...just saying ;-) Always my pleasure, Jason. I enjoy your voice.

[CRZ]

Done :) lol

[KAOlmsted]

;-) Nice...