6/14

I'm gonna be the best, it's my prognosis

need to cut people off, need to stay focused. 

Gotta remember the feeling I had when I wrote this

I was feeling de-ter-mined

my heart was bold, it wasn't hur-tin

Cause pen on the pad is a bullet to a gun

Have love for this like a mother to her son

Love is heavily rooted, in my veins

I'm here thru the losses and the gains

Everyday another lesson

Thank God for this blessing 

To give me a mind, a mind of my own

to differ good and bad, occurring in my dome

is in my chromosome , to be a man of my own.

Author's Note

I advise to read this quick and smooth. It will soothe the whole piece and also click on the picture :)

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Your words convey an upbeat attitude. I like the rhythm to this piece. It's a fun read!

[Imara]

You have a great ending line.
I think the message you are trying to send here is the feeling that you are wanting to get things done. As set up by the first two stanzas, and you are willing to do what you need to do in order to move forward even if it means leaving friends. Then you go on to talk about the love you have for rap. It's very nicely written, the flow is helped with your notes to read it faster.

[Einstein Noodle]

I can hear you rappin'. I am not a big fan of rap and did struggle a bit with the flow. (took your advice and read it fast; and it did help a little) I am uplifted by your very positive message. The 6/14 obviously an important date to you personally. Since I don't know what that significance is it lends a bit of mystery. Enjoyed this!
E.

[Lexi Richard]

This is very enjoyable! Nicely penned.

[Annabelle Lee]

fantastic. exquisitely done

[dw817]

This is excellent ! Some of the rhymes you did were genius, not actual single word-to-word but one word to rhyme to two, that's not easy to do ! (no I'm not trying to rhyme here !) :)

As for what appears to be a possible division between Mothers. I have 2 in real life, both would like to claim me as their own. Sometimes - that can get a little confusing. Hang in there.

[Angel]

This is brilliant. I'd love to hear you read it...

[Samuel Jack]

Enjoyed the rap flow. This piece is something you could just blast out and vent with. I think you could add more onto this, stretch it. Cause it reads so quick (slick). Nice work.

[Onku Ghosh]

Fantastic!!! "cause pen on the pad is like bullet to a gun/ have love for this like a mother to her son''..... brilliant lines and very apt too............they bring out the essence of the poem. loved reading this

[Maxine]

I really love the second verse where you split the last words of the lines, i think that was so clever and made it very powerful when you read it through quickly!!
I really like the theme/message of the poem as well, it speaks volumes and touches where i think many of us are struggling. It sheds light onto those "untouchable" areas of our thoughts :)