I liked this, it can face up to so many different people in our lives, This brings front and center the feelings we posses that another does not see or want to see. I love the last two lines. Perfect ending.
Your poem is refreshingly different." the new you, I abhor/ the old you i adore'' - are a testimony to his fact.I just loved your style and will surely read a few more poems of yours
I appreciated this one... it's flawed language-wise and also RIGHT and language ...wise. The flaws are madly distracting but correcting them would take the heart out of the piece. You can make it pretty but then it wouldn't be "real".
this is just fantastic....had to read it out loud..the first line got me straight in, with a smile of familiarity! love 'just happened to slip as if your mouth was a foot' and 'now i know that my bond...you can't keep it'. and lots more......a gritty honest statement....:)
I enjoyed this piece, the first two lines in the first stanza set up the subject beautifully, although I admit, my mind didn't immediately go to a lover, it went to an absent parent, perhaps one who makes more excuses than attempts to see a child. But when I got to the destination, I found I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Jason.
-kimmer
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
thank you, as long as you can take a part of my work and fuse it with your own experiences, I'll be .. read morethank you, as long as you can take a part of my work and fuse it with your own experiences, I'll be glad with that.
11 Years Ago
My pleasure, and, yes, that's the true hope of the poet, isn't it? Nice job.
Be something old...now there's a concept...most people want change. But it does happen, not all change is good. Fresh write with strong voice on a tense subject. I love you closing line, its very gripping. Well done.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you & yes, most change isn't for the best but that's life.