Tell me something new

Tell me something new

A Poem by CRZ

Tell me something new
tell me how your legs or phone wasn't working on my birthday
to congratulate me or get me a little cake
For God's sake, don't make an excuse 
for every time you refuse. 
To be considerate but to let that one off the hook?
I'll maybe consider it 
tell me how your mouth and mind were merely together.
How all the things , places , events and secrets I told you
just happened to slip as if your mouth was a foot and the 
banana was my secret. 
Now I know that my bond... 
you can't keep it.
But c'mon, tell me something new
tell me how you always say that you'll change your ways
hey, don't change for me. I can't make you advance.
I can only give you the belt to your pants.
don't tell me you're tired about how we feel about each other.
I know there's a other side to you, the real one, I know because I seen it.
I seen it before.
The new you, I abhor
The old you, I adore 
But c'mon , be something old 

© 2013 CRZ


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Reviews

well said and well written

Posted 11 Years Ago


Extremely powerful stuff, outstanding work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


It reminds me of stuff I want to say to a few people. I really liked it and I can relate to it. Good work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


⊰ℛℛ⊱
Birthdays - we all want our friends to show up and wish us a Happy Birthday right ? But, CRZ, you're not alone.

I remember being 14 and putting together what I thought was going to be the Bestest Birthday Party Evah, with Birthday Cards I hand-made myself on a computer with the LPRINT statement. Robots, text made with the asterisk, it was awesome, I thought I would blow them all away

And ... it was just me. No-one else showed up. I had cake, ice-cream, music, and it was at Silver Wheel, a skating rink, my favorite place to go.

And no-one showed up, MAN did I cry. I cried and cried and - well, it's not good.

I love the ending you did:

"The new you, I abhor.
The old you, I adore."

And yes, if life wasn't only so simple. There are many MANY times I wish I could turn back the clock, to finally talk to that girl back in 3rd grade who held my hand - and - not just have her smile down at me cause she knew I was too shy to say anything and definitely too shy to give her a kiss.

I would say something today ! I know I would - and - those days are gone ...

Very well written, and definitely on a subject you, me, and many others know about - time, love, and tenderness. And Michael Bolton sang it well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INWkEXKM-CM


Posted 11 Years Ago


CRZ

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much, thanks for sharing your story. We'll all make it :)
"The new you, I abhor
The old you, I adore"

A brilliant piece and I really enjoy your writing style. Different, yet wonderful. Bravo!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I've read quite a bit of your writing now, you always seem to make your work feel very real...much enjoyed !

Posted 11 Years Ago


Well done... got a few people i'd say this to. lol

Posted 11 Years Ago


This one isn't up to your usual standard but has some great moments..in my humble opinion...I think it should read weren't instead of wasn't on the 2nd line....Maybe you should go back and have a second look at it all, I know myself that it can be hard to do this but this poem might be worth the effort

Posted 11 Years Ago


"You're mouth like a banana peel on which you let my secrets slip" this is how I would have written it, but that is just a suggestion. The comparison is great though and works well with the injured voice of your poem. I think you could clean this one up a bit with regards to grammar though, "I seen" to "I've seen" "there's a other" to "there is another". Some good stuff in this one though Jason.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jason, your biggest fan, once again I enjoyed this. 10/10
Will

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on June 7, 2013
Last Updated on June 7, 2013

Author

CRZ
CRZ

New York, NY



About
Poet & Artist Thou shall not rest until I make my whole fam rich more..

Writing
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A Poem by CRZ



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