Blah

People think they know me. 

Just cause I smile, say hi.

We ain't homies. Cause when I go home

You ain't there for me "b"

How I act in front of you isn't me putting up a act.

But I know when and where to act up and retreat back 

So I smoke my mary jane, to ease the pain in my brain,

Cause lately s**t been getting out of hand

So when I have this green, its just in means of my plan

Is not meant to say , I can't go thru my day

without having cash hash, its just slows it down

Life is going too fast

So i just need to be alone and think of not thinkin

F**k problems, I got 5 , Abraham Lincoln 

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Good rhymes in this piece. I like how it flows with a bit of a rap feel to it. There are many facets to a person's make up and we reveal more of ourselves to the ones we feel comfortable having in our lives. Your piece picks up on this . Enjoyed reading!

[Jon Roggie]

I kike the emotion. Now, refine it! Keep writing!

[CRZ]

Everyday I'm working on my craft.

[Jon Roggie]

As do we all! Just write from the heart.

[clisa]

I feel like you are trying to say something specific to one person. Poetry should talk to an audience, it should appeal to many people and have meaning for many people. Also I think that profanity shouldn't be used unless it really makes a point. About the only time I think profanity is necessary is in the face of senseless violence like war or when children are hurt. I also feel like the point of this poem is not very clear. Maybe if you tried to edit it and just found one point you wanted to make that would help clarify it. I love your bravery - you speak your mind and you say what you are feeling and thinking. That is essential in good writing - bravery.

[CRZ]

I use profanity when I feel like using it , it isn't always cookies and cream in this world. As a poet or whatever I'm going to do. I'm going to be true, raw and honest. Some people may not feel the vibe but I do.You probably don't see where I'm coming from, so it may not appear clear to you but many others understand this point of view. But thanks for your criticism.

[Imara]

Grammar. I know you're using slang to make it more common speech and personal but it is important. like here "thru " slang doesn't work but here " "b" " it does. You see what I mean?

Now I love the meaning of this poem. The first two lines of the second stanza are perfect something everyone can relate to, we're not acting or being two faced we just not trying to start drama. You really make this a personal piece and relateable to people in our age group by talking about smoking weed here. Sometimes we all just gotta chill out, the world gets to be too much for us and this is just the way we relax. Something most any teenager can relate to.
Great flow the rhyme is awesome. Great job just work on that grammar :)

[CRZ]

yeah, I understand lol. The best works are when people can feel it. I will go "through" my grammar lol :p

[Imara]

Clever :) can't wait to read more of your work. You're really talented.