ghosxt333

A combination of experiences, this is just for my peace of mind and my own clarity.

There isn’t much to say 

I don’t understand what made me this way 

Don’t forget me you say 

Everything had to be my way 

Never was able to have control 

Never had someone to hold 

I need you to be so close 

I need to make sure I can feel your pulse

I need to hold you tight 

You make all things right 

You calm me, piece me, put me together 

You come through for me, whenever 

Don’t let me go 

More than a wife, you’re like my best bro 

When nobody understands 

You grab my hand 

Guide me, love me, treat me the best way you can 

I don’t understand 

Everything I need is at my hands 

I’m being as honest as I can

So I’m leaving 

I’m not going to say anything, you shouldn’t believe me 

That wasn’t me I was just kidding 

I wanted to hurt you and because you’re so pure you believed me 

I was just pleasing 

Just teasing 

Just leading 

I hoped it was misleading 

Your kind soul was just pleading 

Couldn’t catch the player, I knew this was easy 

But I was just kidding 

Too scared to let you know that my heart is just bleeding 

Unhealed scars, wounds that reopened, this is only the beginning 

I wish I was kidding 

But I don’t want to be better 

I don’t want you to have to put me together 

You could do better 

I know you asked for peace 

I know you wanted me to bring you ease 

But that isn’t for me 

I can’t just let you be 

Part of me doesn’t want to set you free 

Part of me wants you to be with me 

But I have to leave

Without a word, even when you said please 

You don’t deserve me 

I trust no one and you recognized me 

Helped me realize there was so much wrong with me 

I don’t want to be 

I hate the man I see 

You’re the one to blame

The reason I can’t be sane 

The reason I’m not the same

The reason I lay with shame 

There’s nothing to my name 

You’re the one that I blame 

I will go ghost 

Even when I know you deserve the most 

I am too scared to tell you that I needed you more 

Too scared to let you love me since you came at me with open doors

You know too much though 

I need to go ghost 

I know you said please 

I know you want peace 

But I want my options open 

I don’t want to end up broken 

Put my trust in one, just to end up heartbroken 

Or maybe I don’t care 

Too much to bare 

You didn’t mean enough even if you were so rare

Maybe I was left with so much despair 

I needed repair

Used you to treat me good because I knew you would care 

It wasn’t a dare 

 I do know that I need you there

I needed to hold you too close 

Needed you to make sure I still had a pulse 

Needed you to hold me like the one you love most 

Need you to hear me, before I go ghost 

I’m aware you wanted me most 

I know I wanted you to be so close 

This is dangerous, my heart can’t get too close 

I’m sorry I just won’t change 

My pride leads me to better days

But the truth is 

It’s easier this way 

I prefer to be away 

The coward that doesn’t say: 

I can’t be with you in that way 

 

Let you move on and treat others my way 

I need you to stay 

But I will never say 

I’ll just disappear and let you wonder as you may 

It’s easier this way

So I go ghost 

I knew you cared for me most 

But that’s why I must go 

No explanations, I will just ghost 

Reviews

[Haley]

This is so well written. It's easy to read and invokes so much emotion. Ghosting is hard, both being ghosted and then the guilt of ghosting someone, but it's harder when you feel so close with the person you're ghosting.