Like Hell We Did

remembering an incident with my dad and his onset of dementia

Like Hell We Did:

“Something is wrong with my brain,” he said.

we knew before it was real for him-

misaligned stories from then and now

forgetting not remembering how.

We endured the daily fantasy

didn't correct his blowing in the breeze

allowed him to speak however he might

avoiding tangles and dodging fights.

Then came the day I tried to join in

recalling the time we felled that tree

adding story details loose and free-

his stern look replied, “Like hell we did.”

Reviews

[Pete]

a quote my father was fond of saying. it is a hellish disorder with suffering on both sides of the fence. touchingly and soberingly told. went through it with my dad.

[carl]

thanks for your read and review much appreciated and yes both sides of the fence suffer -carl

[Papaya]

That's a tough one. Takes a lot of patience.
I enjoyed your poetic expression on the subject.

[carl]

much appreciate our time to read and review thanks for the encouragement - carl

[Papaya]

You're welcome. My pleasure to read you

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Alzheimer's and dementia are devastating for the family as well as for the suffering patient. You bring that well to the front in this write. It's a topic that can always use more attention and understanding. Appreciated by one who's been on the frontlines of the battle, F.

[carl]

as always appreciate your read and review - the best to you -carl been busy with new house new city gonna get it together one day

[Dave Brown]

life can be cruel, especially for the observer.
At present, my best life-long friend has mostly lost his way.
After a visit with my mother, having had a very pleasant in-depth conversation, as I was getting up to leave, she asked me who I was.
Statistics barely reflect the heart breaking dismay

[carl]

appreciate the time to read and review - statistics are just words and number but don't reach the heart like the events themselves - take care - carl

[IC]

A very touching reminiscing, Carl. This disease is such a cruel beast that takes away the humanity of those it affects and causes stress to those who stand by and watch a loved one disappear before their very eyes. I feel there is no point attempting to correct any mistakes they may make because it will only result in denial and anger. On some level, despite the onset of the disease, they are completely aware of their failings and will try to maintain pride in the face of these failings. I feel for your situation and wish you all the best. It is a terrible circumstance and you have written with honesty about its touch on your life.

[carl]

thanks for the read and review - your perspective and comments are very correct and appreciated - take care -carl

[Lorry]

Dementia is a devastating illness which sadly has more than one victim, as we watch them disappear in front of our eyes and can do very little about it.
It isn't the end any of us want or expect, but at least their can be bright spots with them getting more involved in the stories we tell them from their memories that they can still connect to.
Very well captured.

[carl]

thanks for the time to read and review and your words "we watch them disappear" are exactly what occurs - take care- carl

[Chris Shaw]

My aunt has advanced dementia Carl. I am her next of kin. I relate very much to this write. Some days there is clarity, other days , she has lost the plot. You don’t know how it’s going to go. Can be tricky to say the least.

Chris

[carl]

thanks for the time to read and review, much appreciated - the business of in and out of clarity is especially difficult for them and for those that care - carl

[Soren]

A great story that emphasizes that few things in life are all or nothing. Moments of clarity to the confused come and go. Well written I felt I was there. Loved it.

[carl]

thanks for the time to read and review - I hear what your saying about moments of clarity as I get older and confusion becomes a frequent visitor just hope he doesn't move in full time ( a bit tongue in check but not completely ) take care - carl

[John the Baptist]

I worked for 12 years in a facility that included many patients with dementia. The last verse illuminates a key factor when dealing with people in this situation: Because a person has a dementia diagnosis doesn't mean they've lost all contact with reality. That's why caregivers have to develop a keen attention.

[carl]

have to say when it happened it was humbling and funny both at the same time. As his condition worsened it was just sad and painful for all concerned. Now, the particular incident makes me smile because my dad was always a very blunt and matter of fact person and it came through his cloud of confusion in very real colors at that incident - thanks for the read - carl