Appointed Day?

Kairos planned moment:

can another be waited for

in which we may act

or perhaps needn't bother.

 

Opportunity missed:

gone its selfish way

can it come again

with held breath delay?

 

Released sooner by

shorter pull or long

Paris misses the mark,

Achilles sings the song.

 

Threading axe handles

Odysseus' arrow flew.

Did the suitors know  

their time was through?

 

Is there one single day

each of us will  pass

or just - there is a day

each shall breath his last.

Author's Note

trying to be more concise with my lines less prosaic, but still get my point across, also still struggling with meter ( I'm shooting for meter based on syllable count ) Appreciate any and all help. thanks -carl

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Shades of The Iliad and The Odyssey in this one. It makes me think of the saying, "Carpe Diem," or seize the day. Is there any particular day, or moment, though? Are not all moments perfect, in their own way? The last stanza makes a brutal point, without saying yay or nay.

[Pauline]

I should also have said 3 quatrains - 1 couplet.

[Pauline]

Have you tried writing a Spenserian sonnet? 14 lines, ABAB- BCBC -CDCD -EE. 10 syllables each line.

Pauline.

[Coyote Poetry]

Myth and tale is my favorite. The city of Troy. Now one of the great cities of legend.
"Released sooner by
shorter pull or long
Paris misses the mark,
Achilles sings the song."
Paris desire. Took down a people and a city. The song of Achilles will never be forgotten. Outstanding poetry made my sleepy mind come alive. Thank you Carl for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[carl]

Thank you Coyote for your encouragement - I also am a big fan of myths. take care of yourself. -carl

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Carl.