Look at Me

I Surmise

Short Story #2

Look at Me

 

It’s foggy. I can barely see my hand in front of my face. I walk, breathless, through the fog trying to find something, anything. Suddenly the fog is gone. I come to a halt. I can’t believe my eyes. There he is. My love, my heart, my everything. My husband. He’s sitting all alone on that bench…our bench. The one where he asked me to be his forever. But, why is he there? He was drafted last month…he should be over seas. I walk to him, slowly. His eyes never leave whatever it is he is so focused on. I sit beside him, my eyes never leaving his uncomfortably blank stare.

“Darling?” I say to him with a smile. He doesn’t move. He’s like a statue.

Then he suddenly get to his feet and stands at attention. I look on, very confused. Then he turns to the left and begins to walk away. That’s when I see the blood, soaking his back. Coming from two small holes…bullet holes. He begins to fall to the ground and I run to him. I fall to the ground with him, his head resting on my lap. His eyes are lifeless and empty. They scare me. He looks up at me then gasps.

“Baby…what should we do this weekend?” He smiles up at me. I begin to sob.

“I don’t know…” I say as I wipe tears away.

“Let’s take the kids to the park. They’d like that.” He continues smiling, as if there’s nothing wrong.

“I’m going to get you some help, ok?” I say as I look around for someone to help and I see every one of my close friends, talking to each other. Walking around as if we aren’t there.

“Please!” I scream. “Somebody help him!”

“Shh, Baby, don’t cry. This is our moment.” He presses his hand to my tear soaked cheek.

“But you’re dying! I have to get you help!” I begin to get up but he stops me with his unwavering grip.

“That’s why you have to stay. This is our moment. Our last moment.” He smiles warmly, the light in his emerald green eyes returning to how I remember.

“We need you, why did your life have to end so soon?” I cry as I lay down beside him on the dirty street and rest my head on his chest.

“I don’t regret a second of it. I loved a beautiful woman with every once of my being. I fathered two beautiful babies. And now I’ve died serving my country. My life had meaning, although I wish I could’ve spent more time with you.” He said as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

“I can’t go on without you. I can’t breathe anymore… You are my everything.” I say as I squeeze his shirt in a tight fist.

“I’m not your everything. You have the kids. And they’re going to need you now more than ever. You have to be strong although I know that’s asking a lot of you. But you’re stronger than me. You can do this.”

“I can’t! I need you there by my side at night…during the day, every second! I need you! Don’t leave me…” My heart feels as though it’s being ripped from my chest.

“I already have…not by choice. I can’t change it. I want to be with you for an eternity! And don’t worry… It’s ok to be happy. Let yourself know love again when you’re ready.” He kisses my forehead then begins to get up, leaving me to cry alone on the dirty street. I watch as the love of my life walks into eternity.

 

 

-

 

 

I awaken to the sound of children laughing. I slowly open my eyes to see the beautiful faces of my babies. Although they’re seven and ten, they’re still my babies.

“Good morning, Mommy!” Says Stephanee, my little girl.

“We made you pancakes!” Says Eric, my little boy excitedly. I look up at them and sit up in my bed.

“Come here…” I motion for them to join me. I hug them tightly and begin to cry.

“What’s the matter, Mommy? Did you have a bad dream?” Asked Eric in a concerned voice.

“Yes, Baby. I did. But it’s all ok now. I have you two to keep me going.” I continue to hold them tightly and we eventually fall asleep.

 

-

 

A knock at the front door wakes me up. I wasn’t expecting any visitors; in fact I hoped they would go away. I wasn’t in the mood for anyone but my kids. I don’t hear another knock for a while so I close my eyes and cuddle with my precious ones. Another knock comes to the door. My eyes open wide.

‘No…That was only a dream.’ I say to myself. I get to my feet and slowly walk to the front door. I rest my hand on the knob, not wanting to turn it.

‘It was a dream! He’s fine! He’s going to write me more letters. He’s fine. He’ll be back before I know it…” I close my eyes and open the door. To my surprise, there’s no one there. Just a Fed Ex box getting drenched in the rain. That would explain the second knock…

‘I knew it. It was just a dream. He’s coming back to me. He’ll be back soon.’ I assure myself. I grab the box and set it in the kitchen sink. I walk back to my room where my children are laying so cozy in my bed. No care in the world. Shortly after they wake I take them to the park. They play and laugh and I laugh a little, just watching them.

My heart is missing my love but he’ll be back so I hold onto what little bit of hope I still have in my heart. I pull a note out of my pocket that he sent me a week ago. It’s so beautiful and only makes me miss him that much more. But the line that really gets to me is; ‘You’re out of reach but you’ve never left my heart for a second. And no matter what, you never will.’

 

-

 

It’s been three months since he’s been gone and it’s getting a little easier. I still miss him though. Every day…every second. Things will get better. He’ll be by my side again someday. We’ll grow old together; we’ll have lots of grandbabies. I smile at the thought. I hear Stephanee in the other room practicing her piano. She’s so good. Her first recital is coming up. She’s a little sad that her daddy won’t be there, but she’s old enough to understand. Eric is very sad. They used to play together all the time; he’s taking it much harder than Steph.

I hear a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it!” Stephanee yells from the other room.

“Ok, Sweetie.” I smile. I hear her open the door. Everything’s quiet for a moment. Stephanee screams and begins to cry. Eric and I run franticly to her to see what’s wrong. Then I see. She’s hugging someone…He’s kneeling…and crying also. Eric runs to him and hugs him too.

‘Can it be?’ I kneel to the ground. I put my hands on either side on his face. I see those emerald eyes that I love and all that has been missing suddenly comes back to me. My heart is complete.

“Baby…” I cry as hug his neck and cry with the happiest tears anyone could ever cry. “…Don’t ever leave my side again. I can’t do this again.” He shakes his head and cries even harder.

“Never again. I’m here forever.” He smiles. We all sit on the floor and hug for a while. That night, and the rest of the nights remaining it the week, Stephanee and Eric sleep with us. Right beside their daddy. I don’t mind that I’m not the one cuddling with him. He’s here. He’s not leaving again. The family is finally complete again.

Author's Note

Thos was a hard one to write. I just got out of a really bad realationship so i cried through pretty much the whole thing. Maybe because I envy how perfect their life is..idk. I hope you enjoy!