A small falling business

A business that comes around only once in your life. That may not be true but it is close enough.

„What a lovely fall afternoon, isn't it Mr. Vain“

„Well...“  hesitated Mr. Vain for a moment and continued: „now that you care to mentioned it. It is a lovely afternoon. And if I consider that we are deep in the bowls of this overcrowded landfill people call a city, I must admit it is a rather acceptable afternoon.“

“I must say. I always admired people like our friend here.” Gestured Mr. Vain towards the person accompanying them.

“Now do you, really?” asked Mr. Loom with a slightly squeaky voice. “Do you? Now why is that?”

“ Well you to must admit Mr. Loom. An act such as this requires a lot of courage. Mind you, I wouldn't be able to force  my self to do something like this in a million years.”

Mr. Loom looked at the person Mr. Vain was referring to. “Courage? You really think so? In my opinion...” turning back to Mr. Vain “ this doesn't require courage. No, not what so ever. Something like this requires stupidity, and a grate deal of it.”
Mr. Vain frowned slightly on hearing this thought. As if he got slightly irritated.
“Yes, a great big deal of stupidity!” Mr. Loom continued: “I have no reason to think otherwise. If you are prepared to force yourself to do something like this, than you are certainly not smart or sane for that matter.”

“Oh God, what the hell is going on here?!” Exclaimed the third person. “What... Jesus Mary”

“Well do you mind sir?” Asked Mr. Vain sharply and with a sense of authority in his voice: “Can't you hear us talking sir? Would you mind not interrupting us in a such ill-mannered fashion?”

“Case in point Mr. Vain. I did point out the intelligence of our friend forehand. Now didn't I?” asked Mr. Loom.
“The lack of manners aren't always the sign of stupidity.” remarked Mr. Vain. “We in fact do know a few gentleman whose intelligence exude our own, yet their manners are worst than that of a swine rolling in its own filth.”

“A rare case Mr. Vain.” sad Mr. Loom turning his attention to the person in question. “Now there sir. What was so important, that you had to interrupt us in that manner?”

“What the hell is going on?” Shouted the man grabbing his blond hair in a stressed out fashion. “What's going on for f***s sake?”

“Now there sir!” Mr. Vain raised his voice. “Is there really a need to use that kind of language?”
“Exactly right sir!” sad Mr. Loom. “ If you haven't noticed sir! You are in the company of gentleman and we do hope you understand how to behave your self in a such company.”
Mr. Loom than turned his attention to Mr. Vain: “Mr. Vain, I did express my thoughts remarking the intelligence of our friend and I am willing to stand by it. As much as I'm concerned we could just turn on our heels  and leave right now!”
“Now there Mr. Loom.” Replayed Mr. Vain in a cheerful manner. “I do understand your attitude and I wouldn't dare to hold you here...” Mr. Vain pointed to the person they were descusting “but we do have an assignment to fulfill.”
Exclaimed Mr. Loom and softly replied: “Well I suppose we do. But sir!” He swiftly approached the person and looked him in the eye: “If you tend to behave in the manner you have presented so far, we will have a fairly bad relationship. I hope you understand.”
The man was frozen and locked in place by the stare of Mr. Loom. Not a breath  escaped his lungs.

“Now there sir.” Sad Mr. Vain gently pushing Mr. Loom out of the locked sight of the man. “Sir? Can you hear me?” he inquired. But there was no response what so ever. Mr. Vain leaned towards Mr. Loom and with a silent voice sad: “I do think you scared him Mr. Loom. I really do.”

Mr. Loom pushed Mr. Vain to the side and yet again stared directly into the eyes of the man. “Now did I?” he asked with a fairly surprised voice. “Hello? Sir? Are you there now? Hello” Mr. Loom looked fairly puzzled.
“Mr. Loom, I think you broke our friend.” remarked Mr. Vain whit a cheeky smile appearing on his face.
“Broke him you say?” sad Mr. Loom with a sliver of joy on his voice. “Broke him? I hope not.”
In that moment bought Mr. Loom and Mr. Vain burst into laughter. “Broke him, he sad. Broke!”
Mr. Loom laughed grabbing his stomach.
“I fear so Mr. Loom. I really do.” Answered Mr. Vain while slapping his knee and leaning forward to that extend  that his monocle has fallen out.
“Oh dear!” exclaimed Mr. Vain immediately ceasing the laughter. “Oh, my... My monocle has just fallen out!”
Upon hearing this Mr. Loom started laughing even more. “Oh. Mr. Vain....” sad Mr. Loom whit a voice thin from the laughter, that he sounded just like an exited schoolgirl. “... your monocle has fallen! Phaaa ha.”
“Now Mr. Loom, that is no laughing mater!” Mr. Vain raised his voice in an attempt to science Mr. Loom. “Can you imagine the state my monocle will be when it reaches the ground? It will be shattered to peaces!”
But Mr. Loom couldn't stop laughing.
“Mr. Loom, I do hope you'll come to your senses right now!” Demanded Mr. Vain.
“Well Mr. Vain...” spoke Mr. Loom wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. “... you must admit that the situation was more than entertaining. I haven't had a chuckle such as this in decades.”

“Well. I suppose you are right Mr. Loom. The situation we have found our self in was more than hilarious. Yet, I must think on the dreadful fate my monocle is about to encounter.” Pointed out Mr. Vain looking deep down below their  feet. “I say. There is no way my poor monocle could survive a fall from this height.” He sad as he was scratching the back of his head.

“What is going ON?! Why won't anyone answer me?” Cried the man.

“Now, I thought we have destructed your intolerable tendency of cutting people off mid sentence.” Sharply replied Mr. Loom. “But as I firmly doubt your intelligence, I really think I have to explain you the circumstances we three find our self in.” Continued Mr. Loom in a calm and well mannered fashion. “You sir are about to die.”

“What?” screamed the man.
“Sir, pay attention to  Mr. Loom please. He won't be repeating himself forever you understand.”
“Thank you Mr. Vain.” Aknowleged Mr. Loom. “Now there. As I sad  before you interrupted me sir. You are about to die, on the count of the fact  you decided to commit suicide by  leaping to your faith from the top of a skyscraper.”
“Yes, Mr. Loom is absolutely right. A most unfortunate way of ending once life, I must add”

“Correct as always Mr. Vain.” sad Mr. Loom and carried on: “You haven't thought of the poor people, whose privacy your about to invade by carelessly flying by their window? Now did you? And the those misfortune once, whose new coat will be smothered by your brains when you finally hit the sidewalk.”

“Not mentioning my monocle.” remarked Mr. Vain.
“That's exactly right sir. Poor Mr. Vains monocle. It will be in a million peaces by now, and just because you decided to pretend you are a bird for a fraction of a minute.”

“Never the less sir.” Mr. Vain descended lower so he could look slightly up on the man (since they were suspended in the air. As if frozen in time) “We are here so you have nothing to worry about.”

“So... I'm dead?” the man asked with a puzzled voice.
“Oh dear.” Sad Mr. Loom. “ We have just told you sir. Your are NOT dead, you are about to die. Try to pay attention please.”

“Exactly as Mr. Loom mentioned. You sir are about to meet your maker. If you are a christian that may be God. If you aren't than... well, God knows. Never the less you will be dead in a few moments and that is why we are here.”

“Y'all like angels or something?” Asked the  man.
“Y'all? Sir!” frowned Mr. Loom: “At least in the final moment of your existence, no matter how diminishing it was till now, try to use the English language as it was attended to. Our ears aren't bins, so be so kind and do not try to fill them with rubbish.”
“Quite right.” spoke up Mr. Vain. “Quite right Mr. Loom.”

The man started to slap his  face as if he was trying to wake up from a dreadful nightmare. “What are you?”

Mr. Vain shook his head: “The sentence you are looking for is: WHO are you. Not, WHAT sir.”

“The school system has really plummeted Mr. Vain. Don't you think?” Asked Mr. Loom.
“It seem so sir.” continued Mr. Vain: “What a shame it  is actually. Such a beautiful language and it's abused every second of the day. Poor Samuel Johnson would be turning in his grave.”

“WHAT ARE YOU?!” Yelled the man.

“There is no reason to raise your voice sir, now is there?” sad Mr. Loom with a growl in his voice.
“Right sir. Quite correct.” Joined Mr. Vain. “A civilized conversation can distinguish us from the savage and take closer to God. As you will find out in a  moment sir. One way or the other.”

“Sir, we are not angels...” interrupted Mr. Loom. “...we are more like accountants in a sense. We are in charge of the souls such as your is. If someone is about to pass, we two are responsible for... What is the word I'm looking for Mr. Vain?”
“The paperwork?” Sad Mr. Vain.

“Paperwork. That is near enough. ” As if from thin air Mr. Loom presented a dark, black, snake skin briefcase whit a golden handle and the monogram W. L. etched on the front of it. He slowly stroke it as if it was alive and with his thumbs pressed the clamps witch were holding the Briefcase closed.
“Click-click” went the clamps. Very slowly and steadily Mr. Loom proceeded to open the case.

“You see sir.” continued Mr. Vain. “ We specialize in a peculiar line of work. We are in charge of souls and we make sure, they understand that the time they spent on earth is up. We are the accountants or office workers who are making fulfilling the legal side of living and dying.” By this time Mr. Loom took out a stack of papers and placed them on the case.
“When you are born sir...” Mr. Vain continued his speech: “you sign a contract with out agency. The contract is not forced  on you and the signing is fully voluntarily but our experience is that, most of the people sign.”
“WHAT!?” sad the man still garbing his hear and violently shaking his head.
“Do not interrupt sir!” Sad Mr. Loom aligning his papers on the case.
“Thank you Mr. Loom.” Thanked Mr. Vain and raised up to the level of the falling man. “Now where were we?”
“The contract Mr. Vain.” Replied Mr. Loom casually reading through the stack of papers in front of him.
“Yet again, thank you Mr. Loom.” Continued Mr. Vain: “We provide a service for everyone who decides to sign a contract with out provider. The service we provide is simple. You can live as long as you want without any interference from our side. But when the moment comes, when you are fed up with life we come and we proceed to the next step.”

“WHAT? WHAT NEXT STEP!?” asked the man whit a loud voice but now not longer holding his head. Now he is just staring directly  at Mr. Vain with a look of a dazzled puppy.

“I'm glad you asked sir.” Proceeded Mr. Vain: “The next step is the one we make a slight profit of. We are a company after all and we need to provide for our families and employees. During your last brief moments on this world we need you to decide your faith.”

“Haven or Hell?” asked the man.

“Not quite sir.” replied Mr. Loom who has now finished his paper  alignment and slowly  joined Mr. Vain and the man.

“Yes, just as Mr. Loom noted. Not quite haven or hell.” Said Mr. Vain. “We do  not deal in that kind of service. By the way...” He hovered closer to the man and whispered in his ear. “That's a different business and usually you don't get what you want, if you know what  I mean.” Mr. Vain winked at the man and whit a cunning smile hovered back to his previous position. “We specialize in the... You might call it afterlife constricted to the planet.”

“What?” asked the baffled man

“Ghosts! Ghosts sir!” Sharply replied Mr. Loom “We  turn people into ghosts.”

“Yes, that is correct sir...” continued  Mr. Vain while scratching his neck in the manner of someone who is not a hundred percent convinced on a matter. “Yes, it might seem strange  to you sir and I won't dare to question that. It is quite a pickle for us as well. Isn't it Mr. Loom” Mr. Loom casually shook his head up and down.
“You see sir. Our employer decided to invest in this type of business. Mind you during the 1900 it was a blooming industry.”
“Quite right Mr. Vain.” Sad Mr. Loom
“Yes. But than after the Victorian period ended we thought it might be over. But  to our surprise the British got quite found of spiritualism and the occult. So as you might guest sir, the demand rose one more.”

“GHOSTS?” The man looked even more out of place than before.

“We just sad that, haven't we Mr. Loom?” asked Mr. Vain.
“Yes, we did sir.” Mr. Loom flew closer to  the man. “I really must insist, that you try  to pay attention, no matter how low is your IQ”
“On the other hand, I think it was an rhetorical question Mr. Loom.” Replied Mr. Vain and carried on: “the British Occult society required more and more ghosts and we delivered. But after that the whole business went quiet. Not a mention, not a single reason for ghost to be around.”

“So why are you around than?” Asked the man as if slowly adjusting to the situation he has found  him self in.

“Well.... the CEO of our little company decided to try one last investment. And let me tell you sir. He has struck pure gold.” continued Mr. Vain. “He had a brilliant idea to invest in the entertainment sphere. And thus he bought a small broadcasting station.”

“What does that have incommon with ghosts?” asked the falling man.

Mr. Loom flew aggressively towards the man and when he stopped just inches from him, he replied: “Our CEO bought The History Channel!”

Mr. Vain noted his head and asked the man: “Have you ever heard of Ghost Adventures, Ghost Hunters or that little adopted child of his? James Wan? Who do you reckon supplies him with ghosts and puppets?”

“We do sir!” Replied Mr. Loom.

Author's Note

I don't really know what story to develop. Please let me know witch you prefer. If you have a couple free minutes, just take a look at my work and let me know.
Here is my latest idea.