The Old Man

The old man walked through the street, without any aid. He walked at a pace that belied his age. He walked while bypassing the potholes and the vendors. His action was swift and his gait was calm. He looked untroubled by his age or by the distance he covered. Clad in white, with a white beard and white mane, he walked through the streets with every soul engaged in an awkward stare. No one knew where he was headed, and no one knew where he was from. But all hesitated to ask him, for he was walking at a great pace, and they didn’t want to stall him. His feet were bare, covered with mud. They were bleeding at some places, and healing at others.

 

And just as he entered another street, a little girl ran up to him. She held something in her little hands. She stopped in front of the old man, and placed at his feet a pair of slippers. The old man stopped, and it was clear that his eyes moistened. For when he spoke, it was with great joy that his voice stuttered. He lifted the little girl and kissed her on her cheek. Then he sat her down on a bale of hay. She sneezed the smallest sneeze anyone ever saw. The old man smiled, and looked kindly.

 

“My dear child! I have walked through cities; I have walked through forests; I have walked on the banks of the Nile, and through the valleys of the Himalayas; I have walked through the sands of Arabia, and through the fields of England. I have seen kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall. I have seen brutal wars and dangerous fights. I have seen the plots of the mischievous man, and the glint of the evil eye. I have seen man at his basest, at his cruellest. I have seen these for a thousand years and more. It is with remorse that people ask me why I do live despite having been witness to the massacres that man brought. Do you know why?”, the old man asked. And as he asked this question, he raised his voice so that it reached the farthest corners of the village. The people gathered to witness this spectacle created by the old man. Some murmured. Some shouted. Some clamoured for the answer. Some declared him a mad man.

 

“It is true”, continued the old man. “It is true that I have witnessed man at his worst. It is true that this heart has endured such cruelty. But all the evil that man has brought is wiped from my heart by such deeds as you have done, my child. It is true that man is capable of intense evil. But it is also true that man is capable of the kindest deeds. These acts of good, though sparse and scarce, have healed this heart. They have made it impervious to the poison that abounds in the world. Why do I live? I live to see such people as you”, said the old man.

 

So saying, he kissed the forehead of the little girl, then lifted her and stood her on the ground. He bade her goodbye, and strode off in his newly acquired pair of slippers. “He is a mad man”, murmured someone. “He is an angel”, murmured another. “He is a good man”, said the little girl. The old man smiled and swept a drop of tear from his eye, and continued walking into the horizon.

Reviews

[Archia]

Oh that's wonderful, truly wonderful. I loved the first time the old man spoke and how he passed through all these things he had done. "“He is a good man”, said the little girl." I love the simplicity in that line and how because it makes it everything but simple. There's even a lesson to be learnt in this. This was truly beautiful, and I think you really underestimate yourself.

[zainul]

Hello Priya,
You have demonstrated a great capacity and ingenuity to create characters that look like divine entities.But,they are human in reality who give us hope to live
here on this earth happily.
I congratulate you for the great story.
Best wishes,
Zainul

[MoriartyMesa]

Would it be wrong to say this was the very first thing that popped in to my brain while reading http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66HvCjn8Wsk ?

[DeliriousCerises]

I love this, the simplicity, the power of kindness heals the wounds of sorrow in this man's heart. It's beautiful. Even though the act was a very small one, it was of selflessness. It reminds me of those moments when I've just had a horrible day, something awful happened, and then someone does some random act of kindness, and it makes me happy once more. Even as tiny as maybe someone covering the 10 cents I didn't have to buy a meal. It brings alive your belief in humanity as this man must've been revived. It also reminds me of the story of Pandora's box, and when she opened it, all these horrible things like pain, and sorrow sprang out of the box and into the world. But at the very end, the last thing to crawl out of the box was Hope.

[Coyote Poetry]

The story is amazing. I like the real feel of the story. A Angel could walk among us and I know he would learn pain and suffering. I like how the man explain his knowledge and was thankful one child gave him hope and kindness. Thank you for the excellent story.
Coyote

[Mockingbird]

this is a great story that could also be a fable. the old man has traveled the world over and witnessed only man's depravity until he met a young innocent child who has not yet acquired the habit of judging someone because of their demeanor. it was a self-less, even an automatic reaction from the girl to bring the poor man slippers. this is an excellent story. there is a moral to be learned from this.

[Kyle]

This is beauty. And so very true. A wonderful write.

[R.G. Bennet]

I printed this story so I'd be able to read it during my lunch hour and I must tell you, when I got to the end, I flipped the page looking for more. But the next page only consisted of comments and reviews. I was so intrigued, I was hoping for a continuation!

But at the same time, I like this the way it is. Very sage, reflective. Good job!

[Aella.lives]

Oh this was so touching. I loved the old feel it brought, and while he was speaking I had a little flashback of Beowulf, for some reason. A simple act of kindness is all it takes for humanity to show that it can be saved from all the other cruelties we have given to ourselves. Lovely write.

[xx]

I adore this story - it almost rings of a parable, even. There's an old man, the universal symbol of wisdom, and perhaps endurance as well, which would certainly fit into the context of this story; there's a young girl, the universal symbol of innocence and sincerity; there's the villagers, symbolizing the rest of the world, the people who only stare but would do well to learn from the wise and the innocent.

The old man's speech is touching, and certainly, there are many who would agree with him. Isn't this the crux of every moral reasoning man makes? That man is capable of good and evil - but which will dominate him?

It is clear that the old man believes that the value of the good outweighs that of the evil that man commits, and we can only hope that this is true.

Wonderful writing, but I did see an error in the execution of the dialogue. Dialogue doesn't usually need multiple, simultaneous punctuation (bad wording, but I'll explain). For example, you have this sentence in your story:

"Do you know why?”, the old man asked.

You can omit the comma and simply write:

"Do you know why?" the old man asked.

The general rule is that punctuation goes before the closing quotation marks. It is true, however, that some sentences in dialogue must end with a comma - but that applies to declarative sentences. For example, here's another example from your story:

"I live to see such people as you”, said the old man.

The punctuation goes before the closing quotation marks, so you might want to move that comma to the other side of that double quotation marks:

"I live to see such people as you," the old man said.

The comma substitutes for the period, you see - the dialogue portion of that sentence would ordinarily end with a period, if there were no accompanying narrative portion of the sentence (the "he said/she said" portion). Therefore, you don't need a comma for the previous example before this one, because that bit of dialogue was a question, not a declarative statement. And remember, punctuation goes before the quotation marks, in most cases. :)

Again, a wonderful, touching story - keep writing! :)

-Mina