Until

The examination of soul mates.

You flood my mind with an unescapable calling

Familiar yet unknown, it rings in my heart with a magical chime

I'm captured, floating in a haze of wonder

Your face eludes me

Your mind invades my soul

A connection in spirit carried forward from lives, many past

Collapsing under the weight of our divide

Falling into the secure and mundane with only the night for reverie

Tormenting life crushes my hope and now walks by my side

Filling your space

 

Until...

 

Our cosmic bond finally culminates in a thundering bravado

My mind now at peace in the harmony of your laugh

My flesh tearing through the cocoon

Blooming into the supple flower it so desperately wants to brandish

My dreams finally reality, flowing through the river of time carrying me on a pedestal of poignant notions,

 

Until...

 

We pass into our next continuation

Reborn in the flesh of another

Awaiting the glorious interlude once again

Growing with a yearning for the missing half

Pleas of a shortened absence sent into the unending depths of space

Curious, eager for the new journey waiting ahead

Left in the vacant masses to find you and begin again,

 

Until...

Reviews

[sushi]

loved it.

[Robin]

love this poetic journey across the soulscape ~

[blob blob]

Wow--great lines...:-)
"Your face eludes me
Your mind invades my soul
A connection in spirit carried forward from lives, many past
Collapsing under the weight of our divide"
[...this is a beautiful...]

"Pleas of a shortened absence sent into the unending depths of space
Curious, eager for the new journey waiting ahead
Left in the vacant masses to find you and begin again,
Until..."
...with this...a magnificent ending!!!
...love this...a great poem...:-)

J:)

[Charles]

Looks like the comments here constitute a 'mixed review.' No wonder, the poem is complex - a blaze of prose confined to stanzas. Can't say (maybe won't say) whether I like the complexity, but the short lines (until...) are really the heart of the poem as I see it, and the final 'until...' really puts the reader on the spot (draws the reader in and forces some thought about what will come next). There are more metaphors herein that in usual prose, justifying the partition into stanza, but like another reviewer I suspect some parsimony with words might lift the writing to another level. Good work as it is, though.

[MattWheatus]

Beautiful piece. The vocab range and linguistic dexterity really shine through. I disagree with the 'eager to show' criticism too - that's a point of taste not fact, and I like poetry that can be bold and candid, so for me it works. Could perhaps shorten the first stanza to even the weight, but it's a minor point to a great write.

[Buddhistboy73]

just read this twice, and enjoyed the use of language here - very easy to visualise. Loved the line "my flesh finally tearing through the cocoon"....very visual!
Only slight criticism would be the use of 'finally' 3 times in the middle verse...
But apart from that, very evocative writing...look forward to reading more of your work...:)

[Platus]

Excellent.

[Nicole]

I love this, it makes a person think ya know.
think about the choices we make..
Well that's what I thought about..hah.
This was indeed a masterpiece. And beautiful.
Ohh welcome to WritersCafe.
Although I think I'm late on that...:D

[Una Xoto]

This is a promising piece. It is a bit stiff in reading but that really does not take away from the fact that this is a nice piece. It has a fresh voice that though a bit rough does not make it any less a diamond. I look forward to reading more... thanks

[Markymark]

Well, the perfectionist hammered you pretty hard. I leave the hard grading to people with a red pencil behind their ear, who'd rather chop than just enjoy the read. I like this piece, but it is pure prose versus a space to break it up between the lines. Poetry like this needs to be savored.....make the reader stop to chew a second before digesting the next line. Granted it would be a bit long, but it would read better. I like the theme and thoughts though.....great write.