1:34 AM Trip to Walmart

at 1:28 AM I get a snapchat
it's you and your friends
riding bicycles down aisles at Walmart
everyone is laughing

I hate being jealous
no one likes it
it festers and burns and aches
those flames don't turn to cinders
quite so easily

I like being alone
I like the feeling of being in my bed
and listening to let's plays
simply enjoying myself

but when I went to college
I wanted more
expected more
it's all I ever knew
and I hate it

just going to Walmart
in the dead of night with friends
effortlessly making college memories
sounds like a teenage dream
like a scenario in John Greene's books

and what makes it even better
the cherry at the top of the cake
you're with my crush
it's not your fault
you don't know
but it hurts just a bit more

I want to be a part of that
I want to live that sort of life
but I don't want to intrude
I don't want to always be with you
that'd be the making of a problem

but all of this I know
I'm excluded from
is just because I live a house away
just a few meters apart
and that makes all the difference

but hey
suppose there's always next year