Achiever to nothing

Don't expect that you are on top until the end.

"Congratulations!"

Hearing that phrase made me deaf because thousands screamed and cheered to celebrate. Golden, silver, and bronze pieces of metals hanged on my neck along with the vivid leis. The sea of blue audience loudly applauded as the outstanding one stood in front of them, that was me. In the latter, our blue toga caps were tossed, the diplomas were kept, and the last songs in the Alma Mater were sang by us. I, the unique one who received copious credentials, proudly left the institution with highest honors. From high school scholar to "iskolar ng bayan", my greatest credential I've achieved so far due to my uplifting motivation and lofty grades. 

That passage was written three years ago in my diary before I arrive in the city. My life today is very different than I used to experience in the province. The realizations pop up in my head. Concluding that I know everything already is one of my biggest mistakes. My brilliance had not still enough to enter the endless competitions in my battle ground. From achiever to nothing, that reality slaps me. 

I placed myself in the war of survival-of-the-fittest without adequate number of knowledge and wisdom. When you're weak, you lose your dreams eventually. Burning the midnight oil is my sword to become one of the cream-of-the-crop yet I still end up bloodshed in final tests. Fortunately, my grades didn't fall through the bottom pit but now, it is standing on the edge of the cliff. Awful and miserable; but I have still the faith to overcome all of these.

College life isn't easy. In this stage, everything goes back at square one. Hundreds of medals and noble titles such as Valedictorian and honorable mentions are useless if you're coward in facing strange burdens. Set aside the achievements in the corner because you are once again in level one of studying.