I think the shining glory about this piece is that you never actually state what love is, which not only inspires feelings of love in others, but offers further proof that mankind just "doesn't get it". Proof of that can be found in the comments other readers have left for you regarding this piece. "Love is this," "Love is that," religious definitions, racial definitions, cultural definitions, sociological definitions, personal definitions, etc. The list goes on to reveal something extraordinary: that love cannot be defined, for something that holds a multiplicity of definitions that are radically different cannot be "one" thing. It also gives a bit of a philosophical turn on an old romantic thought, which breathes new life into the cliche love poem.
Be weary of cliches and running head long into them. In our best attempts to write down what we feel passionatly about, we tend to dive right into pools that have already been filled by others. This piece has a few cliche's in it, but not enough to bog down the overture meaning of the piece.
A final, more critical thought:
"Do u have wings to fly high?"
Lose the internet shorthand. It's distracting and causes a sentence/phrase that could be incredibly powerful to degrade itself.
All in all, a magnificent piece that touches on something so universal, no one can wrap their heads around it fully. Well done.
A great write! I really enjoyed this...Love, such a complex subject and torn between those who believe and those who cannot believe anymore.
Thanks for sharing :D
i don't know if i just didn't get it but i think you are trying to say that true love needs work in order for it to be true. i don't really agree. i believe true love is innate and it is this special and profound and inexplicable thing that people are capable of being. relationships need work, but true love is the thing that makes all the work worthwhile. nice perspective though. i just think you need a few revisions on the grammatical construction.
I love the image you created.. of the mind having the ability to destroy love. By reading this:
"True love is flower like
......
Allow your mind to blossom, dont let it
Cloud the sun and dry the flower"
Excellent imagery. The constant portrayal of love as delicate really accents the poem's meaning. And the portrayal of the mind as a cloud was completely genius of you. Excellent work!
When we love something....I believe true love is a choice...not a feeling. I choose to love...so I must choose to love no matter what. I love you enough to love you even when you turn away from me. I choose to love, so I choose to love enough allow you to make your own mistakes...I choose to love .... so I choose wish you well whether you are with me or take another path. It is a series of selfless acts...not just a feeling. Once we become jealous or possessive of another, we no longer love that person...but wish to possess them. It cannot work. This is wonderful...
I often ponder over what love really can be. Is it just two people whose needs fit each other at a certain time and does that make its breakdown inevitable? I think it is different for every single person. Our definitions of love are shaped by our experiences. My only criticism would be the use of 'u' instead of 'you' - you probably had your reasons that have just gone over my head. Thanks for sharing this piece. NH
Wow, this was another beautiful poem that just blew me away when I was reading it. I love the premise for this poem, and the way that you expand on the idea of true love. Keep writing!