I think the shining glory about this piece is that you never actually state what love is, which not only inspires feelings of love in others, but offers further proof that mankind just "doesn't get it". Proof of that can be found in the comments other readers have left for you regarding this piece. "Love is this," "Love is that," religious definitions, racial definitions, cultural definitions, sociological definitions, personal definitions, etc. The list goes on to reveal something extraordinary: that love cannot be defined, for something that holds a multiplicity of definitions that are radically different cannot be "one" thing. It also gives a bit of a philosophical turn on an old romantic thought, which breathes new life into the cliche love poem.
Be weary of cliches and running head long into them. In our best attempts to write down what we feel passionatly about, we tend to dive right into pools that have already been filled by others. This piece has a few cliche's in it, but not enough to bog down the overture meaning of the piece.
A final, more critical thought:
"Do u have wings to fly high?"
Lose the internet shorthand. It's distracting and causes a sentence/phrase that could be incredibly powerful to degrade itself.
All in all, a magnificent piece that touches on something so universal, no one can wrap their heads around it fully. Well done.
Thanks to Pal for the send, nice write.
Though I believe in something called true love (which I have to wonder if it exists in this less than Ideal world).. What do I think it is?.... when you are loved and love in return, in the wintry moments when you are vulnerable and easy to break and there is no air to breath, your feet are two feet beneath the ground, its raining so hard it stings and washes away half your essence and all that made you you.. When your only thought is to shelter them and tenderly free their feet and place your lips to theirs and be their breath until they find the strength them self once again to breath and breath deep, and find their way back to spring. It's idealistic and at times brutal, and perhaps is so rare and extreme, mythical now days.
True love means understanding. One trusts another more than him/herself and feels ready to satisfy every little need of a partner. It's said that two persons truly in love aren't looking at each other, but in one direction - a future together, through thick and thin, ups and downs and trails and tribulations.
Your excellent piece reminded me of this quote;
"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." -- Erica Jong ( novelist, essayist and poet)
The last stanze is the best I've about True Love. This capavating and carries the reader with an easy read. I tended to speed up the pace but found the read wanted a special speed of its own. I feel that the same is true of you the writer. Example:"Dont allow mind to be cage for the birth". This is hastly written and could do so much more if you added a "your" and an "a". It would then read, "Don't allow "your" mind to be "a" cage for the birth". It is much smoother. I am the worst person to give this advise because when I get excited about a write I tend to force the write and skip words that I thought I used. This a wonderful that diserves the best rate and I believe should be entered in a contest somewhere. Thanks for a great read.
I think the shining glory about this piece is that you never actually state what love is, which not only inspires feelings of love in others, but offers further proof that mankind just "doesn't get it". Proof of that can be found in the comments other readers have left for you regarding this piece. "Love is this," "Love is that," religious definitions, racial definitions, cultural definitions, sociological definitions, personal definitions, etc. The list goes on to reveal something extraordinary: that love cannot be defined, for something that holds a multiplicity of definitions that are radically different cannot be "one" thing. It also gives a bit of a philosophical turn on an old romantic thought, which breathes new life into the cliche love poem.
Be weary of cliches and running head long into them. In our best attempts to write down what we feel passionatly about, we tend to dive right into pools that have already been filled by others. This piece has a few cliche's in it, but not enough to bog down the overture meaning of the piece.
A final, more critical thought:
"Do u have wings to fly high?"
Lose the internet shorthand. It's distracting and causes a sentence/phrase that could be incredibly powerful to degrade itself.
All in all, a magnificent piece that touches on something so universal, no one can wrap their heads around it fully. Well done.
"Who make the Truth "A way of life"". I am so glad you made clear this forgotten aspect of true love. For how can it be true with out a heart that is true and walks in truth. Well done my friend.
We go through our lives searching for true love and sometimes finding it...your poem speaks well of the search, and the process we must go through after being hurt to love again...good piece!
Wonderfully Done really wonderfully done... i love the flow and the VERY subtle rhymes are quite intriging the subject never fails to fasinate its a wonderful piece thanks for sharing!