I think the shining glory about this piece is that you never actually state what love is, which not only inspires feelings of love in others, but offers further proof that mankind just "doesn't get it". Proof of that can be found in the comments other readers have left for you regarding this piece. "Love is this," "Love is that," religious definitions, racial definitions, cultural definitions, sociological definitions, personal definitions, etc. The list goes on to reveal something extraordinary: that love cannot be defined, for something that holds a multiplicity of definitions that are radically different cannot be "one" thing. It also gives a bit of a philosophical turn on an old romantic thought, which breathes new life into the cliche love poem.
Be weary of cliches and running head long into them. In our best attempts to write down what we feel passionatly about, we tend to dive right into pools that have already been filled by others. This piece has a few cliche's in it, but not enough to bog down the overture meaning of the piece.
A final, more critical thought:
"Do u have wings to fly high?"
Lose the internet shorthand. It's distracting and causes a sentence/phrase that could be incredibly powerful to degrade itself.
All in all, a magnificent piece that touches on something so universal, no one can wrap their heads around it fully. Well done.
i really like it alot. I thad so much meaning!! I read it over and over again because it was so beautiful!!! I could really imagine that as a real son g on the radio!! The words are insipiring!! Keep your good work up!!! Oh, and by the way, you are so good, I really recommend that you go show this to somebody!! Its that good!!
This is so sweet and what potential you have. Just a short suggestion... Spell out all your words. Never use internet shorthand in a poem. It loses its power and weakens what you are trying to say. Well done!
Oh wow, what a brilliant piece, I am so glad it was passed my way.
What a wonderfully surprisingly inspiring piece.
I have to admit when I saw the title I thought, uggg, another one of those, but omg was I pleasantly surprised.
Rose, you have mastered to turn this into such a beautiful piece, beautiful enough to make anyone want to find that kind of emotions you written about so perfectly....
It is a poem of truth and optimism :) Your words resonate with me in a very special way, for I live them, and this is the same message I hope to convey to others. Much love to you, dear soul, and many blessings of peace....