Brain vomit (3)

To All Young Things in Love:


don't be.
really, take my advice. trust me here.
leave it while you can, get out get out get me out!
it hurts too much
the pain is far too much for a seventeen year old to bear
i'm not mature enough
im too young
im scared i'm scared i'm scared
the distance is too much it all hurts too much to be allowed to exist
i am too young
i know nothing
i am neither mature nor capable
and i am weak
weak weak weak
i'm not strong like i've pretended to be, i'm made of neither steel nor iron
i'm a weak small thing and i carry far too much
thick Persian rugs of lead draped across my body;its all too much
i cant take it i cant take it
they tell me to hang in there, i'm their hope that true love does exist
but what is love if                if i'm SCARED?
is it love if i'm unsure? is if love if i'm frightened beyond compare?
is it love if i'm terrified of him feeling the same as me?
he's so cooly certain it makes me feel like he's lying
like an icy salve to a throbbing wound, sometimes he hurts more than he helps
why is HE so sure when i'm swallowed by Doubt's greedy glands?
why can't i be so dead set? why can't I make the jokes about getting married and how cute our kids will be?
it's not f*****g fair. nope. not.
i'm scared. i'm terrified. i'm so lost.
i'm weak and i don't understand vulnerability.
vulnerability was never my strength, anyway.
f**k this. f**k this all.

 

 

 

 

c.laRue

Author's Note

';lkjhg