Looking In

Looking In

A Poem by crepusculite

Can you see my fingers pressed
tight and white on window recessed?
A roaring heat eternally contained,
yet transmitted not through the pane.

The others inside are wary
of the fire-bird canary,
but they cannot mine the marble
without its thrumming warble.

I press forlorn the hollow in my chest
where life's light would burrow best,
stare at their self-immolative antics
waiting for my turn to play phoenix.

Oh how beautifully it would hurt,
to writhe in agony on that dirt
'til gritty dust coats every inch
of sweaty skin that I might pinch.

Out here I can dance and bow
about an imagined Pyrrhic glow,
but I grow weary of my fruitless show.

I long to grasp those essential embers,
just once before I forsake my brothers.

© 2024 crepusculite


Author's Note

crepusculite
Never posted any of my writing online before, and never written poetry before! What say you all?

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Reviews

Your poem beautifully captures the complex emotions of longing and isolation. The imagery of the speaker pressed against the window creates an immediate sense of separation, while the “fire-bird canary” evokes both beauty and danger, reflecting the risk of embracing one’s passions.

I love how you contrast the speaker’s internal struggle with the frenetic energy of those inside, showcasing the tension between desire and disillusionment. Phrases like “writhe in agony” and “Pyrrhic glow” deepen the emotional weight, highlighting the sacrifices involved in pursuing connection.

Your use of vivid metaphors invites readers to reflect on their own experiences of yearning and identity. This poem is not only powerful but also resonant, leaving a lasting impression. Thank you for sharing such a poignant piece of art!

Warmly,
Elnnes

Posted 4 Weeks Ago



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51 Views
1 Review
Added on October 23, 2024
Last Updated on October 23, 2024
Tags: emotion

Author

crepusculite
crepusculite

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Just some dust in the wind more..

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