Sweet Tea Memories...

Southern flavored Poetry

Sweet Tea Memories


The sounds of the southern
nights I have come to know
engulf and wrap their sultry
sweeping delta arms around
my memory of parties and
bar b q and watermelon and
stolen kisses beneath the bent
magnolia tree while children
swim and laugh and scream
in the swimming hole at
the delight of coolness no
matter how brief and the older
folk creak out a rhythm in their
ancient rocking chairs as their
creased eyes tell stories of fields
plowed and bowed heads the
mosquitoes take hiatus in their
own swimming hole a mere water
puddle left by the break of
clouds in the stifling humidity
encouraging the purple and yellow
wild flowers across the seemingly
endless fields to the road that
swirls in a ballerina's flow of dust
emerging from a speeding blue
truck of old with a hard core blues
emitting from it's flat radio and I
pour another glass of sweet tea
as I hike my sheer cotton shift
up to my knees and feel the
trickle of cooling sweat run down
my cleavage and down my back
and far away becomes the children's
squeal of delight and the creaking
rocking chairs and the heavy blues
tune and I squint into the sunset
of the mississippi deltas dusk
I smile to myself for I am home
and the southern nights are
mine once again..................

(*an original by Monique

Reviews

[L.G. Knight]

Amazing imagery! I could see it all clear as day in my head and that is something that seriously thrills me I could get lost in such wonderful imagey... There could be stanza's I think that would add more professionalism but over all this was truly wonderful... I don't usually like freestyle poetry I prefer rhymes but when the imagery can capture me like this poem did there is almost nothing beter than that...

This poem shows true talent and raw skill I welcome you to writerscafe with the warmest sencerity and can see already that you will do well here. feel free to send me a read request any time I will be more than happy to read it and comment But I warn you from the get go my reveiws are strictly honest so only send me requests if you want a real opinion I don't do false praise....

Once again I must say wonderful wonderful write.....(god I love the imagery)

Welcome! hope this was in any way helpful....

~Frances~

[Jibey]

The old Mississipi image summed it up for this reviewer... the writing transports me to images of the jazz age, of a world that came out of slavery into the warm heat of African-American culture, to a different kind of sweat... tricking down your cleavage... Lovely!

[Bennett Logan]

I like this piece a great deal... As the title implies, this poem is quite sweet and very nostalgic. I like the atmosphere and imagery that you've created. It actually made me think back to the BBQs, crawfish boils, and family gatherings of my own childhood, though I've never lived in a rural area. In that respect, the poem is very effective. It's accessible.

I would suggest using punctuation just to better guide the reader through the poem. A lot of poetry doesn't necessarily require punctuation, but this has quite a few transitions. Just a few commas and periods to stress pauses would help a great deal, I think. But that's about all I've got.

Keep up the good work, and I'm definately interested in reading more.

[Emily B]

This is amazing! I'm so glad I found my way here. Such a sultry Southern Blues.

[Moonbeam Rose]

Wow this was wonderful. I love the images that came to mind as I read your work.

[Alex Hutchinson]

Excellent southern flow following a deep seated memory of nostalgic times past. This is how to write. This poem is a seated example of where great feelings both soft and generous survive to remind us from whence we came. Thanks for sharing your warm and formerly sweetened days. We the readers are all the richer for it.

[Creole Masala]

This was written when I had just returned to New Orleans...before Katrina...it puts my being away and homesickness alongside my coming back...so it's a combination of emotion...I haven't ever written in Stanza...I can and have for a class...but my style has always been free...I love all of the advice...I will attempt to bring my ramblings into some form...Thank You Guys...I so appreciate all of your candor and most of all...Thank You for reading me...Yes I do feel Home...!

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I liked this. It was sweet!! Your poem created a very vivid image of a time spent outside being free! I liked this.

[Wanda S. Paryla]

I agree with the others that you might want to separate this into stanzas or at least double space. Also, the font color you've posted in is hard to read, maybe you can change it to another color. Other than that, this is a great piece of artwork. You have a fine talent for what I like to refer to as "writing in color." You don't write just words, but you paint pictures. You painted your story as a painter might paint a portrait of this very scene. I love it when I come across such art on the Writer's Cafe, where I can read something and envision a scene, and not just see mere words! I can tell you enjoyed writing this, and it meant something to you. I agree wtih Frances... please send me a read request when you put up new work, I'd love to see anything you write.

[Jester]

an interesting read. If you want my advice, try seperating this into stanzas, because right now it looks slightly unprofessional. Interesting poem, welcome to Writerscafe!