The Line

Borderline personality disorder 
Bordering neurosis and psychosis
Because neurosis isn’t as bad
But psychosis is worse 

Neurousis is depression, anxiety
Everyone is familiar with those two
Psychosis is the inability 
to distinguish reality from imaginary 

I have borderline personaility disorder 

At first I was scared 
Scared of what others would think
Did you know, 
Mental health professionals 
Are scared of borderlines? 

Some even refuse to work with them

Axis two
Untreatable 
Crazy 
Broken

I know I’m crazy
I know I’m crazy because one minute 
I love someone so much
That I couldn’t imagine life without them 

I know I’m crazy
Because the next minute I hate them 
The strength of this hateful passion 
Leads to hurting, manipulating, abandoning 

The statistics aren’t in my favor either
Seventy percent attempt suicide 
Ten percent succeed 
Fifty percent give the illness to their children

I know I’ll never have children 
Or a husband 
Or any long term, functional relationship
Volatile relationships, is what my therapist says

Maybe one day I’ll be okay with it
I’ll be okay knowing I’ll be alone 
Or dead 
I’ll be okay dealing with the horrors in my head

But right now I’m not okay
I’m scared 
I’m scared of being alone
I’m scared of dying 

I’m scared of dying by my own hand