The day has come

29/3/15

My mum has gone back to Nigeria, leaving me here with my siblings and niece, maid included.

 When I woke up first thing in the morning as I watched her pack her things as I talked to her, I couldn't help but break down with tears, leaving me with no choice but to lock myself up in the bathroom and vent out my sadness and soon to be loneliness, as my niece was watching and I didn't want to cry in front of her.

 After crying quietly in the bathroom for a while I decided to come out, convincing myself that I had shed enough tears.. how wrong I was.

 My sister, two brothers, niece, mother and I joined hands while the taxi waited outside with the occasional gust of wind blowing, my mother started the prayer and stopped midway through -to break down in tears. This was soon becoming a routine between us, with the exception of the two boys in the house.

 When we entered the taxi, on our way to the airport while still in the taxi, I cried silently again, but I had nowhere to go to hide my tears so I tried to distract myself from what was happening, and so I paid unreasonably close attention to the street and the cars; even traffic lights. I bit my lip to prevent myself from crying out loud. My mother and niece had noticed I was crying, but they themselves were also crying so we just sat in silence for the next one hour in the taxi with my sister calling her boyfriend over the phone, as she was already used to the absence of a mother so she didn't cry.

 I would suddenly be overcome with emotions I couldn't get a grip on almost every 5 minutes, but I couldn't really keep track as I was trying to distract myself with music, my mother cried with my niece crying atop her bag, a few minutes later she fell asleep with dried tears marring her face.

 As we reached the airport, I had already exceeded the normal amount of tears I would shed per day, but I cried so much that my eyes looked puffed up in my reflection against the taxi window.

 We got off and paid the taxi, then checked in her luggage, her being the typical Nigerian but loveable mum, she have two bags that weighed about 7kg each and called them her hand carry. We saw the other bag that was obviously hand carry judging by it's size, me and my sis asked her what the bag was for... she said it was her handbag. We looked at the bag slung around her shoulder and ending at her hip, we also asked her about that one and she told us it was for keeping the extra things that wouldn't fit in the hand carry.

  So she checked in and came out to give me her money she hadn't changed yet. we said our goodbyes, though I regret not hugging her before she left. As I turned around to face my new found independence, I let a single tear run from my left eye and let the world as I now know it lead me into this so called grown world as I am now legally an adult.

  My niece had grown quite silent within the span of 3 hours. As I got into the taxi I sparred one last look at my mum and waved though she couldn't see me then entered the taxi and we drove off. On the way back to the house, I bought a study chair for the study table I had assembled four days ago, it was quite expensive for my budget but my sister convinced me to look the other way and pay for it while my niece was picking up random things she liked and putting them in the basket, to then be scolded by my sister that she was on a strict list of things to buy.

 I paid for the chair and luckily it was 15% off so I saved a little, then went home to put the chair in my room, it fit in like a glove under the study table.

 When I went back to my room it felt a bit empty though nothing was missing, but what I wanted was a certain person to fill up the feeling of emptiness, but my mother has traveled out so I'm stuck with just sharing the room with my niece. I arranged the room and went off to sleep, with emotions I never felt before poking their heads  from the corner off my bed as they watched me sleep.