Chapter Five

        “You must be kidding me.” Vivian says dubiously, staring at me.

        “I’m telling the truth.”

        “He actually gave you his favorite pen?” She exclaims, “I mean, he has been your favorite rock star for all times, but this whole giving-his-pen-to-you thing is crazy.”

        “I know. I hadn’t even thought about it. I guess it is all because of Erik.” I smile when I talk about Erik. Vivian laughs out loud.

        “Oh, really? So we really need to appreciate your little boyfriend, huh?”

        “Erik is not my boyfriend.” I sigh, “But yes, we do need to thank him for that.”

        “Nice.”

        Then I suddenly think of the two tickets of Richard’s new concert Erik just sent me this morning.

        “You know what, Vivian? I think you should really go to the concert with me.” I say, trying to find the tickets in my bag.

        “Sure,” she says, “you’ve been talking about Mr. Richard Jaxxe for your whole life. I think maybe I should really go with you. You’ve got an extra ticket?”

        “Yes.”

        Today is the day that I have to perform on the stage of The Lost Bar. Vivian and I go to the mall this morning to a new dress, we have been vacillate between a hot pink, really cute dress (that will make me look cuter, as what Vivian had said) and a black, cool dress made with silk(that will make me look mature). In the end I decide to have the black one, and we head to Vivian’s house to do the make-up stuff.

        Richard’s concert is right after the interview (performance) tonight. Erik told me earlier on the phone that he is going to go to The Lost Bar tonight and watch me sing; after that he will pick me (and Vivian) up and take us to the concert.

 

        The star necklace Erik gave me is surprisingly suitable for my dress. I smile as I watch Vivian takes out her cosmetic bag, searching for her lipstick, black eye shadow, and eyeliner. When everything is ready, she turns around to face me.

        “So now, let’s see . . . I can probably make you into a rock star . . . again.” She laughs at her own joke, smiling for a bit, and then turns back to me again.

 

        The Lost Bar is crowed tonight. In front of door there is a huge advertisement page saying “Rachael Landelle performance at The Lost Bar”. I look at that thing for another two seconds and walks into the bar. I suddenly realize that those people are here for me. When I walk into the room, the crowed becomes quiet in a sudden. I recognize some of John’s friends, and some customers I am familiar with.

        “So, get started, Rae,” John says, “show us what you can do. I had invited my friends, and there are many others that are excited about this.”

        I nod, stepping onto the stage. Erik pushes the door open at the same time. Our eyes meet, he gives me an encouraging smile, then he sits down by table number five.

        My feet suddenly feel heavy and so hard to control. I feel like I am sinking, and I know I need to fight the feeling back. But I cannot do so. I am too nervous. As the music starts, I still keep standing there, doing nothing, not even singing. When I finally decide to sing, everything is too late. My voice sounds so bad that I cannot bear it myself. People are staring straight at me, and then they start shouting and wanting me to get down of the stage. They laugh ever so loudly about how bad my voice is. Suddenly, everything turns black . . .

 

        “Rae, are you alright?” Two hands pull me up and shake my shoulders. I open my eyes. I am on my bed.

        “Erik, Vivian.” I mumble. They both look at me worriedly.

        “Richard’s concert . . .” I whisper, I don’t expect that my voice will sound so weak.

        “I don’t think you can go.” Vivian says. I stare at her.

        “What? Why is that?” I ask her. Erik pats my head and grabs my hand in his.

        “You just fainted. It’s okay. I will tell Richard that you cannot go today. No worries.” Erik gives me a comforting smile.

        “But . . .”

        “No. Lay back, Rae.” Vivian stops me, pushing me back onto my bed.

        Erik, still looking at me worriedly, nods at Vivian and says, “Can you please go outside for a minute, Vivian? I want to talk to her.”

Vivian shrugs, “Okay, then.”

        After Vivian leaves, Erik sits by my bed side.

        “I want to go.” I tell him firmly.

        He shakes his head.

        “You can’t. You look so white.”

        “I ruin my interview. I need something to clam me down. You know what I mean.”

        He leans down to me. So close that his lips almost touch my ear. He whispers into my ear, I can feel his warm breath on my face.

        “I don’t want you to faint again. What if any of us is not there for you . . . You really scared me on the stage today. You just fainted, so dedicatedly, and I don’t want this to happen again. You understand? Not again.”

        “You don’t need to be so nice to me.” I say, looking at him and find a feeling that I cannot explain growing inside me.

        “Rae,” he murmurs, “we are friends; of course I have to be nice to you.”

        “I want to go.” I say again, hand still on his cheek, pulling him closer, I make his eyes facing straight into mine.

        “No.” He says; standing up, ready to go.

        “Yes,” I smile, then I sigh, “fine, I will stay at my home. Don’t worry too much about me. But . . . can you come see me later? When will the concert ends, if it is too late, then you don’t need to . . .”

        “It will end at about eleven. It is just a little concert for fans. But no matter what, I will come back. I am not going to leave my friend, especially not when they are sick.” Erik grins at me, turning back to what he is usually like, always smiling; not the Erik I just saw, the shy one, anymore.

        “It is alright.”

        “I will be back. I had promised you.” He says, still grinning while walking out of my room.

        Vivian comes in. I hear Erik saying “bye” to my mother.

        “What were you guys doing inside?” Vivian smiles, as evil as usual, and sits down by my bedside.

        “Nothing,” I say, looking at the window. Erik just left, I can hear the car engine.

        Vivian looks at me, smiling a sad smile.

        “I know you want to go.” She says.

        “But I am weak so I am not allowed? Vivian, I just ruined my interview. That’s the only chance that I can step another step toward my dream.” I say, sobbing, and quickly wipe my tears away. I hate to cry in front of people, even my best friend.

        “I told Erik to bring you some donuts, in case you are hungry later.”

        “Well, that is so nice of you,” I smile, sitting up on my bed, “oh, Vivian, I’m so happy to have you.”

        “That’s what friends do.” She squeezes my arm, and walks out of my room, “I want to get some chocolate, want some?”

        “Yeah, sure. Thank you.” I smile, waving her goodbye. It has been a long day; usually I like to have chocolate when something is up. In another word, I love chocolate. I am so small that I cannot even gain weight, means I can just keep eating chocolate without being fat. That bothers Vivian a lot because she is trying so hard to keep herself in shape. But I think there is no need to worry because she has an angel face and a demon body. She has a beautiful curve. Her body is what every girl in the world will wish to have.

        Back to the topic about my interview. It was awful, and it was almost the most embarrassing moment in my life (the most embarrassing one was the time when I was twelve and I wore a bikini to my classmate Alison’s swimming party and the one side of the straps of my bikini slackened, then one side of the bra just came out and everyone was staring at my bare chest). Anyways, the interview was totally a mess. How can I just faint on the stage? If Richard was there . . . I cannot image how bad it would become . . .

        Just as I am thinking, Vivian comes in with two chocolate bars and lemonade, looking at me worriedly.

        “Wow, Rachael Landelle, you look awful.” She says, jumping onto my bed, settling beside me.

        “I know,” I say, sighing, “it was completely a mess, the interview.”

Vivian nods, “It’s alright, girl, there are bigger chances waiting for you. You don’t need to be sad about this little experience. You know you can make it big.”

I nod, still feeling bad and kind of sad. But I tell myself that everything is going to be okay.

I start blaming myself for how I reacted earlier. How could I just faint? How could I sing so badly? Why was I so nervous? If I wasn’t that nervous about everything, I could have made it big now. The truth is, I don’t want to be famous. I want to write many songs and have many CDs released, so that I can use the money to help people who need. But what happened at The Lost Bar was totally a tragic. I sigh, once again, and grab my teddy bear, taking a bite of my chocolate bar instead. I look at Vivian, she looks back hopelessly. Then I find tears on her face. She is crying! Vivian, as I always know, is the manliest girl I have ever seen. Even though she looks girly and has perfect sense of fashion and, because of her beautiful mother who works as a model, she always has the prettiest dresses from all around the world. The main point is, Vivian Orden never cries.

“Vivian?” I ask worriedly, suddenly feeling a sense of guilty.

“Oh, R,” she rubs her nose, “you make me so freaking’ worried! I am so afraid that you might do something crazy.”

I look at Vivian, my sister, my best friend. I cannot let her down. Not again. So I force a smile, patting her back. She is supposed to console me, but instead it is me who is now doing the job. I hug Vivian for seconds and sigh the sixth times tonight.

“Listen, V, I have been thinking about this. I need to make people happy, not blaming the world . . . So . . . I plan to sneak into the concert and let Erik know that I am no longer a sad little loser.”

Vivian looks at me dubiously, but then decides that I am telling the truth. She nods and wipes the tears away.

“Alright then,” she grins, “let’s go shopping!”

        There are not really any shops opening at nine fifty-five, but the Annemarie’s Second-Hand Shop is always opened. It is a block away from my house, so together; Vivian and I take a walk to the shop.

        The manager, Shirley, a seventeen-year-old with red hair and beautiful green eyes that show that she is an Irish, smiles at Vivian and I as we walk into the store.

        “Do you need help?” Shirley asks, walking toward us.

        “Oh, yea,” Vivian laughs, “this girl needs a . . .”

        I interrupt her. I know what I want. Pointing at the denim jacket, a pair of jeans, a white T-Shirt, I say, “I want them.”

        They cost me only 15 dollars. If I don’t buy it in a second-hand shop, it might cost me more than 30 dollars. Vivian nods at me as Shirley packs my clothes and takes my money.

        “Wow, how fast,” Vivian says, taking the bag of clothes and hands it to me, mouthing a “thank you” to Shirley. I smile at Shirley and walk out the shop with Vivian.

        We quickly run back to my house and change. Both Vivian and I think that I look great!

        I smile to myself in the mirror, then grab my bag. Vivian decides that we should take a taxi.

        “We should both pay half-half.”

        I nod, “No problem.”

        It takes us fifteen minutes to get to the concert. I take out the tickets. It has the word invited on the tickets, so the ticket chopper immediately let us in without saying a word.

        The concert tonight is at a little club. It is like a little party only for fans. Vivian spots a handsome guy by the corner, so she waves me goodbye and walks away, leaving me alone looking for Erik. I spotted him talking to a coworker of his, laughing at something the guy just said. I decide to not to bother him, but instead, I start dancing with Richard’s song, “Dance All Night” (1989) and sing along with it. More and more people eye me, I can feel their sights.

        Vivian’s mouth drops open, she and the cute guy look at me the same time, and I find Erik walking toward me with a huge smile on his face.

        “Hey,” Erik needs to shout to let me hear what he is saying.

        “Hi,” I answer and look at him, “so I’m here, and I’m totally fine.”

        “It is a big surprise,” Erik chuckles, starting dancing with me, “you’ve recovered so fast. That is a good thing to hear.”

        I giggle and shrug. “I think so, too.”

        The music slows down. Richard jumps down from the stage and heads toward us. I smile at Richard, he smiles back.

        “Good news, Miss Rae,” he grins at me, “I had heard Erik talking about your interview. The truth is, I trust you, and I love your voice. I want to train you.”

        My mouth drop opened, I look at Erik, and then look back at Richard.

        “Are you kidding me?” I flutter, looking at Richard, and then again, at Erik.

        He laughs, and shakes his head, “I am serious. After seeing you danced and sang like that when I was on the stage, I am even more sure about my decision. I have to train you myself. I know you. You are going to shine.”

        I cannot believe what I just heard. Can it be true? Am I dreaming? I catch a sight of Vivian still talking the cute boy she just met. I guess I can just tell her later.

        Happily, I jump up and down like a little child and start humming melody. These are what I usually do when I am in a good mood.

        “Besides,” Erik adds, “you are fast on recovering, so Richard thinks that you will be alright when facing the defeats.”

        Richard nods in agreement. I grin.

        “That will be great . . . But I need to find some place to sit down, my legs hurt. I also want to get some lemonade.” I say and walk toward the back door.

        Erik follows me out the door. Silence surrounds us. I don’t know if I should talk right now. I am really happy, but it seems like he tries to say something. So I wait. But instead, we just get our lemonade and sit down by a corner, still not talking.

        Erik’s hand suddenly touches mine. His warm hand covers my cold one. Shocked by what the truth that he is holding my hand, I quickly draw out my hand, blushing.

        “I am sorry.” Erik says, eyeing me apologetically, “I just . . .”

        I shake my head, “It is okay . . . I am just not used to . . . connecting with people . . .”

He nods in understanding and apologizes again.

 

The night ends not so perfectly. But I am still happy. Richard Jaxxe is going to teach me and train me in person, how lucky I am.

Vivian has got the cute guy, Derek’s cell phone number, now dancing joyfully in my room. I had just told her about the good part, but I want to keep the part which I had a little bad memory with Erik since I don’t want to ruin her happiness.

        But she finds out anyways.

        “Rae, are you okay? You seem . . . totally weird.”

        “Huh? What?” I reply abstractedly, playing with my hair, trying to act like I am totally fine.

        “You are hiding something, and I can tell. What happened?”

        I sigh, “Nothing.”

        Vivian stares at me with pressures, and then her gaze turns soft. “What happened, Rae? Can you please tell me?”

        “Erik tried to hold my hand,” I sigh, “but I drew off. I don’t know . . . Was I too sensitive?”

        “You mean sensitive of what? Of every little thing Erik says and does? Girl, you are in love. Deeply.”

        I shake my head. “I don’t know anything, V. The unsure feelings are killing me. I don’t know which position are we in. I mean, we are good friends for sure, but . . . I think there is something more . . . I cannot explain . . . I . . .”

        “Then don’t explain,” Vivian sighs, “just express the feeling you are feeling right now. The truth, it seems to me, is that you are in love.”

        Once again I sigh, and then I hug my teddy bear, staying silence.

        Vivian says nothing. Instead, she walks downstairs, and starts talking to my mother.

        I can hear from my room that they are both laughing. I know Vivian is angry at me. I am angry at myself, too. For that I don’t know and I am not sure about my feeling to Erik. But clearly, for Vivian, I am in love . . .

Author's Note

Please tell me if I made any grammatical errors. Please list them out if possible. Thank you.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

This is a fairy-tale in which astonishing things happen. But you lace it with bad things also, like the collapse and failure at the key moment. But then back to the fairy-tale and RJ is going to be the knight who saves the day with his singing lessons. The shift from the rock star to the teddy bear and talk of love from the more knowing V makes this a classic teen romance. It gallops along.

[Singer-Songwriter - Miya]

Thank you~!!

So it is good :-)?


M.