Chapter Three

        The concert starts. The spotlight flashes, and Richard Jaxxe is on the stage.

        “Richard! Richard! Richard!” People start shouting, hurrying Richard Jaxxe to sing.

        “Good night, folks!” Richard Jaxxe says, grabbing his microphone and laughs for a bit.

        Everyone screams and claps with the excitement of seeing our favorite rock star, our king, being that close to us. For about three seconds, I am so sure that he has his eyes on me, then he smiles. It is not the usual smile that he always shows on those album covers, nor is it that kind of smile that he always shows in front of his fans. It is a kind of smile, that seems, as if the person he is smiling at, has a really special relationship with him.

        I keep my eyes on Richard Jaxxe the whole concert. I find out that the songs are sung in the order of his bootleg at a bar in Les Vegas, if I am not memorizing the year wrong, it has to be the bootleg in 1986. There are three of the songs that I really like; one is “Shut Up, Freak!”(1982), and there is “Broken Hearted”(1984), and my favorite of all time, “For My Baby Girl”(1985). “For My Baby Girl” is the only soft and slow song ever appeared in his albums. Including to Richard Jaxxe’s close friend, Jason McHenry, it is a song Richard Jaxxe wrote for his daughter, who was taken away by the mother before she was even born. But this is never confirmed by Richard Jaxxe himself.

        “Baby, baby, don’t leave me. I know I’m gonna break your heart. Baby, baby, come on in. When you knock my door, someday in the future, I’ll be there to open it for you. Only for you, for you, my baby girl . . .” I sing along, as what I usually do when I hear his songs, and I find tears coming out in a sudden (and in shock). Then I realize that the song has just made me think of my father. A man I don’t even know the name of.

 

        The concert ends about half an hour late since people are trying to make Richard Jaxxe sing more songs.

        Erik finds me on my seat and gives me a high-five.

        “How was the concert, Rae?”

        “It was great.” I say, taking my bag and ready to go.

        “Nice.” He gives me a thumb-up.

        “Are we supposed to meet Mr. Jaxxe in his room?” I ask.

        “No. Stay where you are.” I turn and see Richard Jaxxe standing right behind my seat. He is so close that as I turn, his nose nearly touches mine.

        “Hello, Mr. Jaxxe.” I suddenly feel like there is a need to call him “Mr. Jaxxe” instead of “Richard Jaxxe” or just “Richard”.

        “So you had seen me looking at you on the stage earlier?” He winks, cheerfully.

        “Yes. I did, Mr. Jaxxe.” I answer, standing at from my seat.

        “Nice,” he says, “and please call me Richard.”

        I can only nod. Then the three of us slowly heading to Richard’s room.

        Erik whispers to my ear, giving me a big grin, “Hey, have I told you that you look awesome tonight, Rae?”

        “I guess it’s a no.” I laugh, hitting him on the chest.

        Richard turns around, his gaze, again, moves from me to Erik, then back to me. “You haven’t told me what your little girlfriend’s name is, Erik. And now I know. It is a good name, Rae.”

        I look at Erik, totally shy. “Did you just tell him that I am your girlfriend?” But Erik just shrugs, not denying it, but not confirming either.

        Richard smiles at us. “There used to be a girl I really, really like. We were crazily in love. We even made our true love vow. That was the time when my rock-star life just started to get better. We planned to get married. But then she got pregnant, and she came to me. She told me that she’s leaving me for my own good. Then she never calls me, never connects me, no letters, no emails, no messages. Nothing at all. She just . . . disappeared from my life. As if we were nothing . . .”

        Seeing his emotions change from happy to see us like that, to some kind of uneasy, upset feelings because he reaches the part of his saddest memory, Erik and I both look at him. He is sad. Really sad. I wonder who this woman is. How can she just leave him like this? Didn’t she know that he will always love her no matter what? Richard Jaxxe will not be that kind of man who dumps a woman just because of his career. I am sure about that.

        No one talk as the three of us go into Richard’s huge car and drive our way to the after party.

 

        The party is held at a beautiful hotel, with a big dance floor and a lot of people eating, drinking champagne, and chatting with each other.

        Everyone cheers as Richard steps out from the car, hands clapping, people cheering.

        A girl comes near and hugs Erik tightly.

        “Oh, gosh, you are finally here!” She says those words with a voice that is way too sweet, and a smile that is way too fake. I feel a sudden jealousy growing inside me.

        “Ah, hey, Jessica.” Erik smiles politely, and nods as more people walk by him.

        “Oh my gosh, I’m like, thinking about you the whole day!” The girl named Jessica keeps saying, following Erik around.

        Erik sighs. “Go take care of your boyfriend, or else he will be asking me if you are cheating on him.”

        “Oh, for God’s sake, he does? Then I’d better go.” Jessica laughs, and finally seems to notice me. “Ah, hi! You must be that girl Rae Erik has been talking about! I am Jessica, Erik’s cousin.”

        “Nice to meet you.” I say, feeling happy and relief the same time that Jessica is only Erik’s cousin. How awkward.

        Jessica turns and faces Erik again. “Enjoy your time with your girlfriend, then. Have fun!”

        I stare at Erik after Jessica leaves.

        “Why does everyone think that we are together?”

        Again, he just shrugs. “Just keep moving. Let’s get some food.”

        I keep staring at him. He keeps turning around and facing me, smiling. We walk toward the food sections, grab some cookies, and sit down at a quiet corner.

        For a few minutes, we just sit there, looking at the crowd and watching people dancing on the dance floor. Erik is the one who breaks the silence.

        “So . . . I guess you are thinking about the same thing as I am?”

        I stop eating and look at him. “You mean what Richard just said?”

        “Yes,” Erik says, “I’ve never heard him talking about that before. He had been through many difficult things, but I’ve never seen him that upset before.” Then he sighs, giving me a sad look.

        “I’ve been a fan of his since I was three, when I saw his album in the store, and the store was also playing his song ‘This Messy World’(1982). But I’ve never heard of anything like that about him before. It must be a really hard time for him,” I sigh, too, staring at the far, far, blue sky,” I wonder who that girl was to leave him . . .”

        There is a long, long pause until Erik speaks again.

        “But on the other hand, the girl who left must be really sad, too, since she was just leaving for his career. He was just getting more and more famous, but she . . .”

        I nod. “True.” Then everything is back to silence mode, again.

        The music changes from Richard’s rock music into a slow, soft song I don’t know the name of.

        “Shall we dance?” Erik says, waiting for me to respond. Just then, I feel Richard’s gaze.

        I, once again, turn around, and see him standing there by the wall, smiling, holding a glass of champagne.

“Have fun, kiddos.” He says, still looking at me. I wonder why he is always looking at me, really, as if we do have some kind of special relation. As I walk by, he gives me a thumb-up.

        Richard’s gaze follows us as we step onto the dance floor.

        Erik is absolutely a good dancer, but I just look like(and dance like) a fool. So instead of moving by myself, I count on him and let him swing me gently back and forth. We dance and dance until the last song ends. I glance around this place and find Richard standing by the nearest table, looking at us. Again, I cannot help but wonder, Richard has been looking at me for almost the whole night. As if reading my mind, Richard comes forward and face me, smiling sadly.

        What’s going on? I ask myself, not knowing what to do.

        “Rae, Rae, Rae,” his mouth full of the smell of champagne, sorrowful smile still on his face, “you look like her . . .”

        I blink, “Excuse me?”

        “You look like her.” He repeats, sipping his last drop of champagne. He keeps murmuring about some sentences saying that I look like her. What exactly does that mean? I don’t think about it twice, but tell myself that it is just some random things he says after he is drunk.

        Erik nods at me, “We should leave now, I think Richard is drunk.” Then together, we place our hands on Richard’s arms for support, helping him walk to the car. People are all heading to the gate. As they see us, they wave; some even come near trying to help. Erik shakes his head and nodding goodbyes to the crowd, and pulling him back into the huge car. Erik drives Richard back to his house, then he drives me back to my house. I am totally shocked by Richard’s behavior after he’s drunk, and I keep thinking about what he said. Who is this “her” . . .?

Author's Note

Please tell me if I made any mistakes on grammar. Please list them if possible. Thank you.

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[R J Askew]

Well, I am still reading. I am worried for little Rae.