happiness

Happiness.

 

            Ben rushed into the office, sheen of sweat covering his normally immaculate face. There would be time to tidy his appearance up later. For now, he had to face his boss’s brand of music. The pale, pasty white door had never seemed as menacing as it loomed up over the perfectly lined carpet floor.

 

            The door creaked on its well oiled hinges, the sound like thunder in the small confined space that was his boss’s office. What was even more thunderous were the clouded grey eyes of his erstwhile employer. “Ben.” The single word struck more fear into Ben’s heart than the well cut bland blue suit, the immaculately fastened tie and the airbrushed hair. Face reddened, Ben stepped forward, hands trembling as they clasped each other behind his back. “This is the fourth time you’ve been late this month. Dismal. Most dismal.” The end of each sentence was punctuated with a tap of an exactly uniform 2B pencil. The movement reminded Ben of a judge’s gavel, each tap sentencing him closer and closer to the dreaded pink slip. Recession had hit the country hard, and Ben’s law firm had taken a severe beating in the market.

 

            “s..s..sir.” Ben managed a choking sound. The man’s face turned even more ashen, and a sour look bolted across his face before it settled back into its well modulated expression. “I woke up late. Then…” Before Ben could utter the next syllable, the man spoke.

 

            “if I had a dollar for every time I heard that joke of an excuse, I would have enough to afford the penthouses of every building in Singapore!” the well modulated man had gone, and was replaced by a very literal description of the devil. His face had turned a shade of putrescent beetroot and if looks were bullets, Ben would have been riddled like Swiss cheese. Each syllable held an ocean of contempt, and Ben was powerless except to suffer the wrath of the angry titan before him.

 

            The tirade had subsided, but Ben’s ears were still ringing. Head hung low, he dejectedly trudged out of the office. The partner had threatened him with the pink slip, and he was to be suspended from the office until he had decided what to do with him. Ben sighed, and began packing his things away in a cardboard box, trying to ignore the burning stares of the many colleagues surrounding the table.  “Made the boss angry again ah?” inquired one, with a sympathetic look. “You really should wake up earlier.” Muttered another. Ben was all too conscious of what his actions would bring about. The boss would storm around the office all day, and with rising expectations and budget costs, he would be in an even worse mood than usual, bringing havoc crashing down around several of his colleague’s ears. Ben trudged miserably out of the building, with not a sympathetic glance from either security guard.

 

            The apartment was dingy, and poorly lit, the one ceiling lamp spinning lazily in the humid air. Ben looked apologetically at his wife, who returned the stare quizzically. Ben sighed and spoke “I’m going to be retrenched.” The words had an air of finality. His wife was dumbstruck. Ben was the sole breadwinner. Without him, they would never be able to raise their child.

 

            “how did this happen?” she finally managed to choke. Ben hemmed and hawed, searching for an explanation and came up with none. Slumping onto the plush sofa, Ben buried his face into his hands. She was right of course. He should not have waited for the bus. He should have caught the cab, in spite of the increased fare. A paltry ten dollar fee instead of the thousands he would now lose. And the thousands that would be used to raise his child. Gone. Washed down the drain with the rest of his life.

 

            The rest of the week was agonizing. Day after day of waiting by the phone side, and sleepless nights working out alternative plans with his wife had finally ended. Their relationship had been strained to the limit, with fights becoming more and more frequent, until the call came. “Mr. Ben? Partner Williams wants to speak with you.” Ben had immediately showered, changed into his business suit and rushed into the office.

 

            “Sir!” he nearly yelled, hope rising like an eagle in his chest.

 

            The manager merely gave him a dour look. “you’re to begin this Tuesday, and we will only be paying you minimum wage.”

 

            Ben’s rising hopes took a nosedive. “but sir, two thousand a month is not enough to feed my family! You cannot expect me to live with that!”

 

            The manager’s look managed to turn even sourer. “I have pleaded with the higher ups on your behalf to give you another chance, are you now saying you are dissatisfied?”

 

            Ben gulped, Adam’s apple bobbing nervously against the edge of the cheap suit. “no sir. I would not do that.” The manager nodded, hand raised and swishing lazily in the air, like a cow about to swat a fly. “Instead, sir.” This caught the manager’s attention, with the fly swishing movement stopping as well. “I would like to resign. I have already found another job, and I am fairly certain, that the pay is much better there than here.” The manager’s face turned from one of smugness to complete outrage. “There is nothing more for me here, sir, and I think I have maximized my capacity here as an attorney of law under you. I did not apply for employee status to have my intelligence insulted.”

 

            Ben was bluffing. The pay had exceeded his expectations and the phone call had surpassed his wildest hopes that the company would re-employ him. But looking at the smug, Eurasian man in front of him, Ben stiffened his resolve. “I quit.” The Eurasian giant of a man lost all control, and a ham sized fist came smashing down onto the table.  The erstwhile ex-colleagues had been listening outside the door, and quickly formed a living corridor for their ex colleague to walk through as soon as they heard the bang. Ben waded into the middle of the human crowd, and called out. “I’m going to form my own law firm. Any of you willing to join me?” for a few second there was silence, followed by a roar of murmurs.  A single hand shot up. Lee Keng, Ben’s best friend since his secondary school days. Lee Keng’s friends cautiously raised their hands, and glanced at the heaving chest of the Eurasian behemoth that stood behind them, fuming in silent anger.

 

            Ben began to head for the door, but the massive bulk of the manager stood in his path. The mean-spirited snarl on his face would have scared the wits out of any mortal being, but Ben just gazed up coolly. “you can’t do this, you are poaching some of our best lawyers.” Cried the office manager, his hands and fingers wiggling around insanely, as though trying to cast some sort of magic spell upon the leaving men and women. “we can sue you!” he ended somewhat lamely, flapping the oversized palms back and forth, for all the world looking like an oversized bombardier tyke.

 

            “so sue me.” Replied Ben, as he brushed past his erstwhile manager. Sliding the mobile smoothly out of his pocket, Ben read the message, and realized something he had not in a long time. He pushed the nagging thought to the back of his mind, then as sunlight hit his face and the warmth of the Singaporean weather permeated into his pores, Ben realized. Happy. I’m happy.