Forever

It seems like its been forever since i saw your face.
But i see you everyday, all the time, any place i close my eyes.
It seems like its been forever since i heard your voice call my name.
But still i hear you every dark and lonely night
like you're an angel watching over me from beyond the skies.
Its been forever since the night you cried yourself to sleep.
But every drop you shed that day still daunts my mind and bores a hole deep inside.
Its been forever since i heard you laugh or saw you smile.
But just a thought makes me feel alive,and washes away all the pain hidden inside.
Its been forever since felt your touch against my skin
But every time the wind blows by
It brings back the memory of every touch and every kiss.
Its been forever since i saw the gleam behind your eyes
But still i see it every stary night
Its been forever since we talked and poured out our hearts contents
But every dreamy night we share and shed all the weight we carry inside.
I know it seems like forever since you were alive
But you still live on eternally inside this heart of mine.

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

An intimate feeling shared here. The incessant use of the phrase "Its been forever" to add a certain cyclic feeling. A bit of a risky thing as it can lead to monothematic and predictable, some will begin reading and very quickly go "Oh, is one of those ones". But it was kept concise and again to share a moment of relations to something that it is not revealed. If it is human or just a presence the narrative tell us that the impact was such that it will live eternally inside.

Strong image right there.

Thankyou

[Angad Waraich]

Thank You.

[MomzillaNC]

A sad, distant feeling of a loss of intimacy in this poem.

NOTES: I think this might benefit from breaking some of the lines into two, and setting the poem down in stanzas or couplets. It would give your lines more impact, I think.

[Angad Waraich]

Okay i will try it out for sure and if it feels right i'll put it up.
Thank you for your suggestion and reading.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. Hope it was helpful.

[Angad Waraich]

It was there are very few people that actually read to help others improve. It is most appreciated. :)

[MomzillaNC]

Well, I think it's what most of us are here for -- at least, it's why I'm on this forum -- to grow as writers and to help others in the same endeavor.

[Angad Waraich]

And that's why i respect you !

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[Wandervogel]

beautiful expression of intimate feelings with an excellent imagery.....

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for reading.

[The Black Warrior]

Aww this is so cute, beautiful words.

Notes:
It seams (did you meant seems?) like its been forever since i heard your voice call my name.

I really like this poem! :D two thumbs up.

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you mens pointing out the mistake.
I an glad you liked it.

[The Black Warrior]

You are welcome! :) thank you for sharing!!!

[Chris]

"Its been forever since felt your touch against my skin" - you used "i " after every other since... did you leave it out here?

I liked the build and flow...and the end.

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for reading.
And i did intend to put an i there.
Must have missed it by chance.
Will edit soon
thank you

[Chris]

anytime... laters

[Stonz P.]

Another heartbreaking piece. The detailed imagery pierces into the mind.
Good flow and I really liked this.
Thanks for sharing.

[Angad Waraich]

Hey thanks mate.
Cheers!

[Pryde Foltz]

I know it seems like forever since you were alive
But you still live on eternally inside this heart of mine.

A beautiful and poignant write, Angad. And one with which I truly relate. If you have a moment do me the honour of checking this older piece of mine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wECS-FCksoY

[Angad Waraich]

Hey! Thank you for the review and your kind words.
I do follow up on your links. Sorry dont really get the chance to review them though

[Pryde Foltz]

No problem but I am glad you listen:)

[Angad Waraich]

Oh and yes you do have a lot of beautiful poems.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you again:)

[lovelife]

I looked at the reviews before I reviewed this piece and I agree this piece is very intimate and well written.

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you.

[lovelife]

ur very welcome

[Konigin]

Wow. Angad. This is heartwrenching. I really felt the emotions in this piece and I love your word choice!

Beautiful and deep pen. :)

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for your kind words.

[Konigin]

You're welcome. :)

How are you?

[RAOrourke]

So sad as I read the last line which confirms the great loss and sadness of your piece. Beautifully written with such tenderness and feeling for your piece is felt through your words. Well done again!

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you so much

[Noopur]

Beautiful poem .. great!!
Cheers for the eternal existence of this work...!!!

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you very much.