The Book of Pick-Up Lines

A short scene I wrote for my friend and I to do for drama class. Think Billy Mays from the OxiClean commercials.

N1: Are you lonely? Does your mother set you up on blind dates with her friends daughters?

N2: Do you spend your weekends eating cheese puffs and playing world of warcraft until 3 AM, taking a break only for skyrim and mountain dew?

*nodding screen*

N1: Well then we’ve got a solution for you!

*FLASH TO NEW SCREEN, TWO PEOPLE SAYING - WHAT?*

BOTH:THE BOOK OF PICKUP LINES!

*FLASH TO NEW SCREEN, TWO PEOPLE SAYING - HUH?*

BOTH:THE BOOK OF PICK UP LINES!

*FLASH TO NEW SCREEN, TWO PEOPLE SAYING - SERIOUSLY?*

N2:With THE BOOK OF PICK UP LINES! You can get any girl you want!

N1:No boring Friday evenings with video games and carbohydrates for you!

N2:No blind dates with weird girls, either!

N1:Just watch as an ugly businessman turns into a young, hot, entrepreneur using the BOOK OF PICK UP LINES!

N2:Baby, I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away.

*NEW SCREEN, WALKS BY*

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

*NEW SCREEN*

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you have fine written all over you!

N2:With the BOOK OF PICK UP LINES!, you can get girls to go out with you with as much as one pick up line!

N3:  Mmm, you look like a box of lucky charms, girl. Talk about Magically Delicious. 

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but is your name Shoquisha? 

Are you from Iraq? Cause I think you’re the bomb! 

N2:With just one pick up line from THE BOOK OF PICK UP LINES, you can go from zero to hero! Just listen to these fantastic reviews from real people!

N1:The book of pick up lines taught me how to get girls… fast! I used to be a wimp. Now? I’m a pimp! 

N2: I used to be the nerd. Now with the book of pick up lines, I’m the word! 

N2: I used to be dumb. Thanks to the book of pick up lines, I’m slum! 

N1:So call 1-800-PICKUP and get yourself the BOOK OF PICK UP LINES for only 3 payments of $19.56!That’s right, just 3 payments of $19.56! And if your not satisfied with your BOOK OF PICK UP LINES, you can always send another payment of $19.56!

N2:Not only do we offer the ORIGINAL BOOK OF PICK UP LINES, but we offer the DELUXE BOOK OF PICK UP LINES! For only four payments of $19.56, you can get an extra 100 pick up lines, including 3 SPECIAL PICK UP LINES! Here’s our favorite!

N2:Roses are red,

N1:Violets are blue. Suck ****************, then ******* on the floor,

N2:You fool!

*NEW SCREEN, FAST WARNINGS*

*NEW SCREEN, SPONSORS*

*NEW SCREEN, NEWS MUSIC, TODAYS HEADLINE IS KIND OF THING*

N2: Reports of dangerously high rates of various STD’s have been reported in America. Researchers say that a book of pick up lines has been causing the intense havoc and chaos. 

N1: We attribute the diseases to this book.

BOTH: DO NOT BUY THE BOOK OF PICK UP LINES. ONCE AGAIN, DO NOT BUY THE BOOK OF PICK UP LINES!!!

Author's Note

What do you think? Review please!

Reviews

[TK]

had a blast reading this. cant sleep but now im laughing too hard to sleep anyway. great job and awesome comedy!

[Meaghan]

Thank You!!! :)