In the darkness of the eve As I lay in somber mood Heart full of doubt, Head full of woes, She comes to me This little bird, With sweetest song Ever heard, And my soul opens To hear this melody Of the nightingale When we are both alone
Sweet Nightingale, come sing to me I am heartsick to my bones Soothe my loneliness, oh little bird With your lovely words
This is a very sweet, and quite a classic style poem. Your descriptions are simple but elegant and evocative. Without being dramatic or angst-ridden, this poem really captures that bleak, distorted, sleepless-night world, and then contrasts that against the peace and beauty of the soothing Nightingale. It's a really nice counter-point. "And my soul opens to hear the melody of the nightingale when we are both alone " is a gorgeous, old-school descriptive.
Mind your capitalizations, as Nightingale appears both capitalized and uncapitalized here.
You could very nearly read this poem as also being an allusion to Florence Nightingale, I don't know if that is intentional or not, but the idea of being soothed in the night by a Nightingale is fairly strong, and for this reason, I would change "he" to "she" when referring to the Nightingale, and then this poem works on both levels.
The language usage in the final verse - "Sweet Nightingale", "heartsick" and "oh little bird" - is also very classically orientated, which complements the traditional subject matter and feel of this poem. For that reason, it's not super original, but it's a really well executed example of this style. Excellent write :-)
The nightingale must speak the same language as the heart. I would like to hear the song of the nightingale, especially on a lonely night such as the one you described. A songbird makes great company.
This is a very sweet, and quite a classic style poem. Your descriptions are simple but elegant and evocative. Without being dramatic or angst-ridden, this poem really captures that bleak, distorted, sleepless-night world, and then contrasts that against the peace and beauty of the soothing Nightingale. It's a really nice counter-point. "And my soul opens to hear the melody of the nightingale when we are both alone " is a gorgeous, old-school descriptive.
Mind your capitalizations, as Nightingale appears both capitalized and uncapitalized here.
You could very nearly read this poem as also being an allusion to Florence Nightingale, I don't know if that is intentional or not, but the idea of being soothed in the night by a Nightingale is fairly strong, and for this reason, I would change "he" to "she" when referring to the Nightingale, and then this poem works on both levels.
The language usage in the final verse - "Sweet Nightingale", "heartsick" and "oh little bird" - is also very classically orientated, which complements the traditional subject matter and feel of this poem. For that reason, it's not super original, but it's a really well executed example of this style. Excellent write :-)
Made me think Billie Holliday should come back and sing it to us, there's a bluesy, sensual vibe to it.
"I am heartsick to my bones" - I like how this is both heavy and simple at the same time.
p.s. "sooth" = soothe? Think the 'e' escaped your typing fingers.
"I guess I wrote in invisible ink,
Oh, I've tried to think how I could have made it appear"- Aimee Mann
Open the cage and set the bird free.
I am a writer. A poet. Words have saved me. I am a .. more..