It Was Not My Nature

because it was not in my nature

to live beneath a rock

to hide

to cower

to believe

in the futility

of life

to slowly rot

it did not come naturally to me

to mask my face

to tie my hands

to tape my mouth

to fetter my feet

to turn to stone

to be still

to play dead

because it was not in my nature

to mistrust

the world

to forget

the beauty

to hold up

a white flag

of surrender

because it was not,

i turned myself

inside out

i put stones

in my pockets

i sank

i left and did not

come back

because it was not in my nature

to sink

i held

that last

bit of breath

for twenty years

and swam up

and climbed out

to live