Obituary for Kenneth Larry Newman 1948-2013

            Kenneth Larry Newman

 

       April 29^th, 1948 to September 17^th, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

Obituary:

 

Kenneth Larry Newman was born on April the 29^th, 1948 in Jacksboro, Texas. He passed away on September 17^th, 2013 at the Baylor Hospital in Plano, Texas after a long illness. He was 5 months past his 65^th birthday.

 

Larry was preceded in passing by his father, Joseph Newman, his brother Joey Newman, his sister Jo Nell Newman, and his brother Charles Newman.

 

He is survived by his wife Carol Newman, and sons Steven Newman and Craig Newman. His mother, Clara Freeman. His brothers and sisters James Newman, Royce Newman, Glenda Davis, and Carol Ware. He is also survived by numerous, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and in-laws.

 

 

 

Eulogy:

 

Larry Newman’s life could be summed up by saying that he was on a long journey. All his life, he seemed to be moving through one phase or another, one place or another.

 

He was born in Jacksboro, Texas on April the 29^th, 1948, the son of a laborer Joseph Newman and his wife Clara Freeman. He was born into a large poor-to-working class family that seemed to move with their father Joe wherever life and work took them.

 

However, Joe was not a very responsible person. He was mostly absent from their lives according to brother James. It fell upon mother Clara to look after the ever growing family with the help of friends and kin. For a time, at the recollection of James, they lived Ennis but soon had to leave and move to a small home in Crisp. They made the journey on foot. The house did not have heat or running water, only a well out back for water. His wife Carol recalled Larry saying that part of the reason that his front teeth were brownish, was from drinking the well water.

 

Eventually, Clara was not able to care for her children on her own. And at the advice of relatives, she placed her children into the Texas Baptist Home for Children in Waxahachie, where this service is being held today. It was, no doubt, a very difficult decision for a mother who loved her children so very much.

 

 

 

But the blessing in this move in Larry’s life, and the lives of his siblings, was that unlike many children at the Home who were orphans, Larry had his brothers and sisters to share the love and life. It was also fortunate that they were able to keep in contact with their mother, and their many relatives, including their estranged father, Joe.

 

It was also a blessing at the Home that they were well cared for. They were clothed, fed, educated, and above all: loved. There were many teachers and guardians at the Home, who showered upon Larry and his siblings, as they had with other children there, much love, affection, and guidance.

 

Larry’s personality developed at the Home. He had a keen, sharp intellect. A sharp wit with a sly and foxy playfulness. And a sharp temper if he or his siblings were wronged by someone else. His little brother, Royce recalls that since he was much younger than Larry, he did not have close interaction on a regular basis. But when he did, he remembers that Larry looked after him. Took care of him. And allowed him to tag along with him and the older kids to play ball or in other activities.

 

In addition to his strong intellect, he was also a good athlete. Both Royce and James recalled that Larry, who played baseball as a child, was a Little Leaguer of the Year as a catcher. This athleticism continued into high school as a member of Waxahachie High’s Triple A State champs in 1965 and State Semi-finalists in 1966, Larry’s senior year. That love of sports would be lovingly passed down to his sons, Steve and Craig. He would regularly take his sons to games and fill their heads with sports knowledge until both were an encyclopedia of trivia.

 

For Steve, he recalls regularly going to Texas Ranger baseball games with tickets provided by Larry’s work. He also remembers going to Dallas Cowboy football games with his dad and his uncles during the height of Roger Staubach and Tom Landry. Both Larry and Steve would spend endless Saturdays and Sundays watching college and pro football. And as anyone in the Newman family can attest, the greatest passion for the ENTIRE Newman family was: Football, football, football. His wife Carol would recall an early visit to Larry’s mom Clara before they were married. Carol complained to Clara that Larry never took her out on Sundays. He was always watching football. Clara firmly informed her future daughter in law that “Larry’s gonna watch football whether you like it or not. So you’d better get used to it.” That’s something that EVERY Newman wife and child quickly found out: Don’t mess with the Newman Brothers on Sunday.

 

For Craig, who was more inclined to be a baseball fan, he went to and watched Texas Ranger games with his Dad. Craig fondly recalls the teasing his Dad would give him over being such a die-hard Rangers fan. Larry would rib his youngest son by saying that Texas Rangers Baseball was the six months of boredom until the start of the next Dallas Cowboys season. Though Larry and Craig both reveled in taking about baseball history and how today’s players stacked up against the greats of the past. Craig took a special delight in recent years of reversing the teasing as the Rangers began rising to prominence with regular winning, culminating in 2 trips to the World Series, while the Cowboys hadn’t really won anything since their last Super Bowl in 1996. A reversal of team fortunes that Craig could lovingly poke his dad with.

 

After Larry graduated from Waxahachie High School in 1966, he got a scholarship through the Home to attend the Jacksonville Baptist College for about 2 years, studying architecture. This experience, however brief, would lead Larry towards his lifelong occupation as a salesman in the building industry, selling mostly metal building components for industrial warehousing and workshops.

 

However, in 1968, he started a new occupation: He was drafted by the United States Army and began his basic training. Like most young American men, he knew that the day would come when he would be asked to serve his country. Like many, he knew it was a right of passage for young American men to fulfill their duty to their country. But there was, as Larry would later admit, trepidation about serving. After all, it was 1968, the height of the war in Vietnam. And there was a real possibility that he could be ordered to go there… And may never come back. He attended paratroopers school and was eventually assigned to the 173^rd Airborne Division. Fortunately for Larry, he was sent to Germany instead of Vietnam. And there would be a great joy in his life that would come from that.

 

While he was stationed in Germany, he was reunited with his sister, Glenda who was married to a fellow soldier, Fred Davis whom was also stationed in Germany. Larry’s commitment and love for his family is best personified by an amusing tale passed down from his wife, Carol. When Glenda and Fred’s second child, Lisa, was born in 1969, Larry actually went AWOL off of base to be with his sister in the hospital. It was the only time Larry was in trouble during his military service. And it was worth it. In 1970, Larry received an honorable discharge and an early release due to the illness of his stepmother, Gladys. But the discharge came to be a blessing in disguise.

 

After returning from military service, Larry met the love of his life: Carolyn Sue Dozier.

 

They had first encountered one another living at the Home. Carol, like Larry was a product of a poor farming family from Canton, Texas whom, like Larry, came to live at the Home with her siblings after the separation of her own parents. As Carol recalls, she only knew of Larry casually since he was four years older than her. She recalls actually being close to Larry’s little brother, Royce. But it was through mutual friends that Larry and Carol finally met and got to know one another.

 

In 1970, the Valentine’s Day dance was coming up and Carol was intending not to go since she had no date. But her friend Vicki Rogers suggested that she go out with Larry Newman. When Larry was told about Carol, he decided that he need to see her before agreeing to go out with her. So the night before the dance, he came to visit Carol at her work, Mott’s Five and Dime in Waxahachie. They spoke for a little bit and then went out to grab a bite to eat and talk in order to get to know one another. Afterwards, Larry’s assessment of Carol was quote “Yeah… She’s alright.” And they went to the dance together. Soon, that led to their dating.

 

As they began seeing each other regularly, they both began introducing one another to their families. Both families instantly took a liking to the couple and soon, a bond was formed. Carol recalls that early on, Larry struck up a close relationship with her grandfather and would go out hunting and fishing together. With both families warming up to the couple, the die was cast.

 

On July 17^th, 1970 in simple ceremony at the office of Judge Richburg in Oak Cliff, Larry and Carol were wed. In attendance was Carol’s mother, Mary Alice, and their friends Richard and Betty. Because both were young with little money between them, their honeymoon consisted of going out to dinner at El Chico’s and seeing the B-gangster picture “A Bullet for Pretty Boy Floyd” starring Fabian. On April 24^th, 1971, the couple welcomed their first child, Steven Paul Newman while living in Dallas. Eight years later, on April 11^th, 1979, they had their second child, Geoffrey Craig Newman, in Austin, Texas.

 

A hallmark of Larry’s life as he moved into this new phase would be the constant moving, the search to make a better life for his family.

 

Larry always tried to give his family as much of the good life as he could, trying to make up for his humble beginnings. He took his family on vacations, and showered as much gifts as he could upon them for birthdays and holidays. Larry also looked for better work opportunities wherever he could find them. This usually meant moving whenever the company he was working for required it, or moving to take a better paying job in another town, or even another state. Over the first 20 plus years as a family, they moved from Dallas, to The Colony, Austin, then Round Rock, Fredricksburg, Houston, LaFollette in Tennessee, back to Texas to San Antonio, Hutto, Austin, Dallas, then onto Calvert City and Eddyville in Kentucky, Cabot in Arkansas, then back to Dallas, Grapevine, Temple, and Austin again, until life would eventually bring him back to Dallas. They lived an average to 1 to 3 years at each stop. The longest stop being in Hutto, a town outside of Austin, where they lived for 4 years. Carol, Steve, and Craig would all say that living in Hutto was the best time in their lives as a family as they had put down good roots and kept in close contact with his brother, Charles and his family, Kay, Clinton, and Amy. As his mother Clara once commented about Larry’s constant moving, she should write down their address in pencil so she can erase and rewrite it every time they moved.

 

Unfortunately, by 1998, while living in Austin, Larry took a dark journey that pretty much broke his family apart. He began running with a bad crowd and getting into things that changed his personality. He became darker and more belligerent. In 1998, his youngest son, Craig moved out to live and work with his brother Steve in Dallas to escape the growing darkness. Within 2 years, Carol would have to leave him as well. Though she never divorced him. She moved to Dallas to be with her sons.

 

In 2002, Larry made the first stumbled beginnings to try an undo the damage and reunite with his family.

 

Shortly before Thanksgiving 2002, his brother Charles had passed. It appeared to have an impact on him. Especially after he was reunited with his family for Charles’ funeral. By the early part of 2003, he suddenly arrived at the apartment Carol and the boys shared in Lewisville. For a time, he tried to put his life back together. He got a job in San Antonio and tried a reconciliation with Carol. But it all was short lived as Larry drifted back into bad habits.

 

 

 

For the next four years, Larry was estranged from his family, adrift and without a course in life. Then about 2004, he moved to Abilene and lived with his mother, Clara, and his sister, Glenda. Slowly, he began putting his life back together. Larry became clean and sober. He eventually got a job as a car salesman. Finally, he re-established contact with his family by keeping in touch with his son, Craig. Craig even took a vacation to visit with his Dad. Slowly things were coming back together. Though it would take longer for Larry to rejoin his family.

 

In 2008, he moved in with his niece, Shelly, and her family in Allen. Back in the Dallas area, Larry attempted to find work but with no jobs forthcoming, he made himself useful around Shelly’s home by helping with housekeeping and even looking after Shelly’s children, Torree and Loren, while Shelly was at work. Shelly would recall that it was great comfort to her knowing that her Uncle Larry was there to make sure the kids got home from school, safe and sound.

 

More importantly, Larry was able to further re-establish contact with his own family. He began seeing them regularly and became more and more involved in the lives of Carol and the kids. But it wasn’t always easy. There was still some lingering feelings over how bad things had gone over the last ten years. It was slow in going but then God and fate stepped in to create the circumstances for Larry’s family to come back together and fully reconcile.

 

In 2012, Larry’s lingering and chronic conditions, such as rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, and lung disease, caught up with him. He did not have the medical coverage to keep his ailments at bay. In February, Carol and the kids were called by Shelly. She told them he was hospitalized after a bad fall. When they saw him in the Allen Medical Center, Larry was skinny, pale, sickly, and badly crippled. The arthritis made it difficult for him to move freely and walk. Despite the lingering feelings of anger towards Larry for what had transpired in the past, Carol and the kids committed themselves to helping Larry get medical treatment.

 

They looked for ways to get medical coverage but it was difficult given his current condition and his inability to qualify. Then, an idea came to them: To find out if Larry qualified for coverage from the government through the Department of Veteran’s Affairs. However, Larry was previously told he did not qualify. But after encouragement from Carol’s uncle, Jeff Lawley, a Vietnam veteran, they were urged to try again. As it turned out, Larry was disqualified by a clerical error. He DID qualify. Larry’s sons, Craig and Steve, took Larry to the VA and got him registered.

 

Initially with help from his brother James, Larry began making visits to the VA Hospital in Dallas. But soon, his son Craig took the reins and began taking Larry regularly to the VA, rearranging his work schedule to accommodate Larry’s doctor appointments. At first, taking Larry to the VA meant getting up early in the morning and driving north to Allen from North Dallas, then down to the VA Hospital in South Dallas, then taking him back to Allen. Craig recalls that these visits to the VA were almost always all-day affairs and that traversing the VA was like walking back and forth across a shopping mall. But because it was so important that his father get the medical attention he needs, Craig shouldered the task and made sure he made every appointment and took every prescription.

 

Eventually, though not without trepidation from Carol, Larry moved back in with them in the Dallas apartment that Carol, Steve, and Craig shared. He offered to help share in the bills in return for their help in getting him medical treatment.

 

It was not easy at first, living together after so many years. There was anger and bitterness, heated words and heartfelt apologies. But soon, Carol accepted life with Larry again. A friendship was renewed and eventually, love followed again. Back together with his family, Larry began to make progress in his health.

 

Part of that progress, beyond medical aid, came from the therapy of enjoying life as a family again. Together, they went on weekend drives and trips. Reminiscing about old times helped to bond the family together again. And it prepared Larry for the last leg of his course through life.

 

By the Fall of 2012 and into the Winter, Larry’s progressing health began to slowly deteriorate. First, it was repeated bouts of pneumonia and flu. He was regularly hospitalized at a rate of every three to four weeks. Soon it became more and more difficult for doctors to medicate and treat him properly as Larry began to slowly succumb to the effects of his various ailments and illnesses.

 

Despite his own frustrations over his slowly failing health, Larry’s commitment to his family became even stronger than ever when his eldest son, Steve, developed a kidney infection in the Spring of 2013 that led to Steve undergoing kidney dialysis. Even through his worst bouts of illness, Larry’s thoughts would turn to the health of his son. He accepted that since his condition was becoming slowly worse, it was more important that Steve was taken care of.

 

His last period of life at home ended on a happy note. July 17^th, 2013 marked the 43^rd Anniversary of Larry and Carol’s marriage. To celebrate, Craig took them to their favorite restaurant, El Fenix in downtown Dallas. The evening was joyous as Carol aided Larry with his meal since his arthritis was becoming worse. And Larry indulged in a tall glass of beer, a rare treat for him. The evening concluded with Craig driving his parents around downtown Dallas, taking in the glorious city lights. It turned out to be the last wonderful moment of Larry outside of the hospital.

 

Within a week, Larry began to feel weak and poorly. Always stubborn and always hesitant to re-enter a hospital knowing that he may never leave, Larry hid his latest bout of illness. But finally, he could bear no more and early in the morning, he woke his son Craig and asked to go to the hospital. Craig took him to the VA Hospital where it was quickly learned that if he had hesitated in coming an hour or two longer, he would have passed then and there. Craig spent the entire day with him and braced the family for the worst.

 

For the rest of July and into August, Larry was kept at the VA Hospital’s ICU. The doctors then felt that he needed to be transferred to another facility for prolonged care. His condition had seemed to be improving and the doctors at the VA felt that in order to improve Larry’s life, he needed to undergo a strict regimen of rehabilitation for both his breathing, which was deteriorating from lung disease, and physical therapy to get some of his waning mobility back. He was transferred to the Kindred Medical Center in North Dallas to begin treatment. At first, Larry was hopeful and enthusiastic that the rehabbing might go well, and he could finally go home and live a fuller life. But unfortunately, that was not to be.

 

The rehab started to go well for the first few weeks. But soon, his breathing problems had returned. Since last fall, Larry had been breathing with the aid an oxygen machine and nose tubes. But now, the situation was such that Larry was forced to wear heavier oxygen masks, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He wore a heavy mask that resembled a fighter pilot’s mask that was strapped tightly over his face and head, making it harder and harder for his family to communicate with him, and he with them, as he was blasted in the face with oxygen, trying get better, and stay alive.

 

This could be considered a sad and heart wrenching experience to witness. But it a strange way, Larry’s worsening condition helped to bring about unity to his whole family.

 

His wife Carol, and sons Steve and Craig, came regularly to be with him, spending long hours with him in the evenings after work and on weekends, watching television with Larry and talking to him as much as he possibly could on the rare occasions when the heavy mask could be removed. Also visiting Larry during this time was his brother James, brother Royce, niece Shelly and her two children, Torree and Loren, sister Glenda and niece Lisa and her family, and even his other sister, Carol, with whom had little contact with, but it was through Craig that brother and sister were able to see each other, if only for a brief time.

 

There were many occasions where Larry was unable to talk much during these visits. Often it was hard for him to stay awake. But there were memorable moments when Larry was able to communicate with his family.

 

Like the old days, Larry would talk to his boys about sports. Steve would fill his dad in on what was going on with the Dallas Cowboys, even that awful moment when Jerry Jones decided to rename the stadium AT&T Stadium. Larry’s opinion, as shared by the boys, was that it should have had something more meaningful, Like “Tom Landry Field at Cowboys Stadium”. And Craig would recall that one of his last prolonged conversations with his dad was about the Texas Rangers. During one of Larry’s naps, Craig checked his cell phone and saw that Rangers pitcher Yu Darvish was pitching a perfect game against the Minnesota Twins. When Larry awoke, Craig kept him updated on the game’s progress. Sadly, at 9pm, visiting hours were over, and Craig and Carol had to leave. Coincidentally, after Craig left, he checked and saw that Darvish lost his perfect game bid and ultimately lost the game 1 to 0. He recalls wondering if he had been able to stay with his dad longer, would that have effected Darvish’s luck.

 

Possibly the best memory from these visits concerned one of Larry’s favorite TV shows, “The Big Bang Theory”, a comedy about four nerdy scientists and their friendship with a beautiful blonde girl. A running gag of the show was that whenever one of the scientists, Sheldon, got sick, he would make the girl, Penny, sing a lullaby called "Soft Kitty”.

 

The lyrics were: “Soft kitty… Warm Kitty… Little Ball of Fur… Happy Kitty… Sleepy Kitty… Purr, purr, purr.”

 

One night when Carol and the boys were visiting and Larry was taking a brief nap as he often did, the three of them joked that perhaps since Dad was sick, they should sing “Soft Kitty” to him. Carol began to sing the lullaby. And when she did, Larry awoke, nodded along, and sang the last lyric “Purr, purr, purr”.

 

After spending just over a month at Kindred, Larry was transferred to the Premiere Medical and Assisted Living Center in Plano. Before the transfer, Carol and the boys were informed that there was no hope for recovery, that they should ready themselves for the end.

 

While Steve was at his regular dialysis appointment on Monday, September 16^th, 2013, Carol and Craig went to Premiere to oversee the nurses settling Larry into his new room. By luck, fate, or the grace of God, his brother Royce and his wife Patty happened to be in town and were planning to return to Wisconsin the next day. Before leaving they came to visit Larry. And it was Royce, always full of good cheer and humor, who provided the last great memory of Larry. During the visit, Royce leaned into Larry and asked “Larry? You want a beer?” Larry, who was drifting off to sleep, awoke, surprised to see his brother, and shook his head. Royce added “Okay, maybe later then.” And Larry nodded.

 

On that evening, Royce, Patty, Carol, and Craig departed. Royce promised to see Larry when he came back down in November. Carol and Craig promised to return tomorrow evening after work. All of them gave their love to Larry before departing.

 

Larry passed away in the wee hours of Tuesday, September 17^th, 2013.

 

Larry’s life had a long journey. As Royce would later put it: Like the Beatles song, Larry traveled a “Long and Winding Road”. From hard scrabble beginnings in the Texas country, to the Home in Waxahachie, to building a family with Carol, and searching for new opportunities to give his family a better life by moving throughout Texas, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Arkansas, to collapsing into darkness in Austin, a renewed life in Abilene, a return to family in Dallas, and finally, his last journey to be with God and the loved ones who passed. Larry Newman was a restless soul, always wandering, always searching. Now he needn’t wander or search anymore. He’s finally at rest, at home in Heaven.

Author's Note

Because of my writing skills, I was asked to write my Dad's obituary and eulogy.