Inexpirence

You are my guru.

Baby,show me a new world.

Make me feel alive.

Reviews

[Kristin Lee]

There's a lot of yearning in this short poem. Placing ones life in the hands of another...its definitely a rollercoaster. It's the last line that stands out the most. "Make me feel alive." The phrasing is great, it captures those lusty moments first felt in a relationship. Great job.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

An interesting piece indeed... You show minimalism at its finest. I like the line "You are my guru", because it is a bit of a vulnerable stance that shows an interesting emotional level. I like the desire in this one, and the way that you make your plea in such a strong, concise fashion.

[Maria Mercurio]

good use of form
feel like the narrator is speaking directly to me.

[Cassie]

This is short but has a strong message in it. Thank you for sharing it

[Rita L. Sev]

Great senryu - a well-formed message; especially like that last line!

[Michael Stevens]

Says it all, quickly!

[Friday]

Succint and very expressive. Fire works.