Nothing of value is won without sacrifice Individuals will be punished for their transgression
Surrounded by bone crunchers, the memories flood back Slipping along an abandoned tangle Spilling into unknown depths; Smells, sounds, emotions, actions, Swinging her jacket, the pack slinks to the chain link’s dark edges Snared Sorry Vampires of life weather her Alamo Sailors take warning, Red sky at morning envelops Casey’s gift Sacrifice, Width and breadth of emotions will be the last to go Epic Stalkers, The voyeurs, chuckle Straining our ponytail pigeon panics to a tethered end. Swashbuckling corporate surrogates suckle their dementia cattle into another squeeze shoot. Strike success for keypad containment ,bruised blue palms n knuckles Soul solicitor let the feather float free. Amen . L.V.C.
These are original thoughts and images... very refreshing to see a writer charge the "boundaries"full tilt.. "surrounded by bone crushers"... "the pack slips to the chain link's dark edges"... there are others... I like to lean back in my chair and let your verses wash over my mind and stir my reflections
Wow, this has a rhythm all it's own, I don't know which line I like best...but the end is a clincher.
'Soul solicitor let the feather float free'
'Amen' indeed.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
thank you, I have not been at the Cafe long ,but it feels good to see a poems emotion keep floating .. read morethank you, I have not been at the Cafe long ,but it feels good to see a poems emotion keep floating in time. sort of walking on its own "Reverence"
I like your structure. You are taming your wild creative mind here. Sometimes my friend we must sacrifice, for the readers sake. As for the content I found it not only moving but thought provoking, too. That first verse set a defiant tone but you softed as you went along. Talking about our loved ones/ can do this to us. Even the most hardened of us. This is evident in your final few verses. That release... Well penned, Lee
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Yes this is a ongoing emotion, but when I wrote it was steam kettle corn hot caramel burning ,I want.. read moreYes this is a ongoing emotion, but when I wrote it was steam kettle corn hot caramel burning ,I wanted all the world to hear ,change , embrace the injustice.
A very powerful and gripping poem. Written very well with outstanding imagery. Losing one's memory is loosing everything and everything becomes a unknown. You describe the decline well here and how some come in to prey on those victims. Where there is money to be make nothing else matters.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Good to know the poem painted the journey ,I try to embrace Kindness, compassion,so tough not to be .. read moreGood to know the poem painted the journey ,I try to embrace Kindness, compassion,so tough not to be John Wayne, "Ah the Hell I am Not" writing it down saved a jaw.
Love the ending, the sweeping and haste to the quiet 'Amen"
I don't like "epic" on its own line, especially since all of the other lines start with an 's' word, although it could be a blatant sign for the turning point in the poem. I enjoy the idea of incorporating the red sky and sailors bit, although it sounds muddled, or confused as is.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Cool thank you,Emotion of making the family "A Visitor"to our mother,"Red Sky at Morning",a book,196.. read moreCool thank you,Emotion of making the family "A Visitor"to our mother,"Red Sky at Morning",a book,1968 Richard Branford,A boy growing up in Northern New Mexico,Movie too,My Dad to me is ,New Mexico.His red sky.The government taking away a individuals rights,a family's,is as you say,the turning point,"they"say a dementia patients emotions are the last visible piece of life to fad in their eyes.
Alzheimer is truly the strongman that robs, I lost my Grandmother to it,lucky for me I looked like her so she was alway drawn to me though she nolonger remembered me.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Three sisters, I am a only son,(though she has raised many boys they would,work, visit, stay,grow)So.. read moreThree sisters, I am a only son,(though she has raised many boys they would,work, visit, stay,grow)So I had to be Tuff. She is ...so present when we talk,the feel, her gut,intuition, on target,she will or we will "Map" the conversations to common ground,then it is like the channel,ditch,Tangle ,
opens and wow, we laugh, deep belly style,tears in our eyes,Present and a Present to each other.
12 Years Ago
Sometimes polite laughter is called for, but I am all about the full belly laugh it truley is the me.. read moreSometimes polite laughter is called for, but I am all about the full belly laugh it truley is the medicine that heals tears and all
These are original thoughts and images... very refreshing to see a writer charge the "boundaries"full tilt.. "surrounded by bone crushers"... "the pack slips to the chain link's dark edges"... there are others... I like to lean back in my chair and let your verses wash over my mind and stir my reflections
Good morning,Thank you for stopping by. I like to write,I like to layer a story into a poem,I want to crack through to the reader,add emotion to life, theirs and mine. more..