the aftermath

what has been building up for a while has ended like this

you have given your first kiss to another girl

as well as your first love

I wish it wasn’t like this

 

I asked you a question

an admittance of how I feel

but you didn’t answer. and perhaps that was the answer.

 

I pined for years. I ached for months. I cried for days. I cursed for minutes. I hated for seconds.

I wish it wasn’t like this.

 

I wrote novels about you in my mind.

your hands your skin your honey whiskey eyes.

you were light. but you were also dark.

 

I can’t help this hurt. you owed me nothing and I wanted everything.

I would’ve given everything.

 

now there is another girl who is lovely and most definitely not me,

with my colored hair and tattooed hands and pierced ears.

she is long hair and tan skin and young and innocent. she is happy.

I hope you’re happy too.

 

and I’m sorry I wish it wasn’t like this. because I hurt now.

but it’s always been like this for me. so. it's okay. 

it will be okay, at least.

Author's Note

whatever you think, I appreciate hearing!